52 male recently widowed, using Zoosk to met women 46-49. I have some questions and would appreciate any advice.

FarmerFred52 · 2018-05-07T17:13:00+00:00

Well I'm definately willing to go younger. I turn 53 in another month. So 7 years younger is pretty good. I don't want someone post menopausal or going thru it. This will be my first round of serious looking. Wife died of ovarian cancer so there was no sex for a long time. I don't need a replacement wife.

ortsnom · 2018-05-07T17:18:59+00:00

Go out and meet women in real life. 1 hour of solid approaches will be far more productive than 1 hour on tinder or Zoosk or whatever.

hairyyams · 2018-05-07T16:51:44+00:00

Why such a very particular age range?

Kenic_In_MD · 2018-05-07T17:17:27+00:00

Well you seem like you have your life in order and the age range you are looking for women typically are set in their lives and are looking for marriage/a long term partner. The good news for you is that as guys get older their stock typically goes up, while for women it's the opposite so you are at an advantage.

I would recommend just taking some well lit, professional if you can photos of you hanging out at the park with your kids or just going about your daily life with a smile on your face while showing your full body. Also show you doing some hobbies and stuff. I wouldn't post the MMA photos though.

GuyFromDaStore · 2018-05-08T00:11:15+00:00

Only have a few pictures, about 5. One of your face, smiling. One of your body dressed up well, one of you in a natural pose with a nice background, one of you doing something you like (sports, hobbies), and one of you being fun or silly. Use a quality camera and focus, no fuzzy shots, no men's public restroom selfies.

Don't ever do a muscle shot or abs thing, its just silly.

Don't treat your job as if its a sellable thing, she wants to know what you do besides your job.

super_thowaway · 2018-05-08T08:18:44+00:00

Hi Fred, as you can tell, the experience level here works better for school kids than for grownups. As someone in my 30's who's had a fair number of dates with women of all ages, some older than you, I can try to offer some advice.

First, it's great that you are taking such good care of yourself in the aftermath of such a difficult event. Really, give yourself a big hug and a pat on the back.

Online dating culture is something that has changed soo much and so rapidly. What was acceptable and attractive a year ago, is gone today. So it is hard to perfectly tune your profiles for maximum appeal.

The key is to communicate your positive aspects, show your strengths, communicate your serious intentions, all the while not taking yourself or your profile too seriously.

Showing your physical health as an older guy is especially important. It sets you apart from the pack greatly. Your solid career, your strong family, your positive reaction to negative events, all this is exactly what women are looking for. I know that women in their 30's and 40's are willing to date up in age, easily up a decade just to find someone serious. But they are usually so disapointed at how much they are settling for, not because of age, but because the guys have let themselves go and spew negativity. So I think you'll do fine. You should list it all. No one is going to read your story and think "how vain!" No, they will be inspired, they will be intrigued. You can't please them all, but I think most women will like it, even most of the ones that roll their eyes.

Shirtless photos are out of vogue for young guys. Then it became in context shirtless photos. Plausible deniability. "Oh that's not a shirtless photo, that's just me on water skiis... with no shirt on." But even that is out of vogue. But for you, I think it's important and OK to be the exception. Just don't over do it. One rule: if you have no shirt on, you cannot be the person holding the camera.

Flintblood · 2018-07-16T18:33:11+00:00

Why do you want the lower age limit to be all the way at the 46? Why not open it up anywhere between 21 to 49?

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