Confidence at an all time low, never was high anyway.

Greybleak · 2018-05-08T05:47:34+00:00

Once you have a happy life and are pretty chill with yourself girls will flock. You're a garden and girls are butterfly's. If they aren't coming around you just need more flowers, the flowers being ambition, style,humor, challenging/slightly cocky/self respect, good body, etc.

Greybleak · 2018-05-08T05:44:40+00:00

When my confidence hit an all time low the day after I started dated the hottest girl of my life, have been for 3 years now.

Confidence comes from experience man, when you're out there making mistakes, come home and reflect on what you think went wrong and get some counselors, like the fly friends of yours.

Personally I think your biggest issue is you're "nice" which is fancy for pushover. Stop. Dude start acting like you're the boss of a company. If you ask a girl to stop by your office and she ignores you do you mope? Nah b you fire her, or in this case you stop talking to her.

Dude legit all you do is this. Figure out what makes you insecure. Strive to fix them. Dress like your peers. Learn to flirt. Flirt with girls you think are cute and if her body language gives you 3 IOI's get her alone for the kiss then move from there. If you get turned down remember you're a playa and you don't give a shit, they get 10 good years, you get 40, that's why we take longer.

saggygooch20 · 2018-05-08T06:05:44+00:00

You sound like a bit of a nice guy. You need some edge or the girls will not like you. Lose your good intentions. Your only out to lose your virginity and your best bet is an easy slut. Keep her around a fuck her when you can but don't get serious. All that banging will make you more comfortable around women and then you can bang a different girl. Bang a few and then take your pick of your favourite and then you can have honest intentions.

super_thowaway · 2018-05-08T07:35:27+00:00

A good thing to remember is that people only know you from what you communicate outwardly. They don't know you from the inside. So ponder for a minute about the kind of person other people think you are. They see your body, your hygiene, your clothing, your body language, your voice, and your thoughts only as your words convey.

Maybe there is a mismatch of your internal image of yourself and what you are communicating to people. Another thing to think about is being a good person and being an interesting person aren't the same thing. Nor is having a lot of shared interests the same thing as being interesting. I know lots of great people that I am not isnterested in, even when we have a whole lot in common. Being nice is a good thing. It's just that being nice is not the driver of attraction.

Interesting people, or people you find interesting, are usually interesting because their is some perceived contradiction in their personality. Such as someone who is a Sunday school teacher but also a badass biker on the weekend. Such as someone who likes to stay home and play video games, but also jumps out of airplanes. These contradictions are intriguing, people are drawn in to try to understand them.

So think for a bit what your contradictions may be? Are they potentially interesting and positive? Are you communicating them?

P.S.

You have plenty of time, no need to panic. But channel the energy into concrete changes.

DrSleeper · 2018-05-08T09:19:41+00:00

First off the bat: stop trying to get laid. Approach as much as you want but don’t think about sex at all. Approach girls you have no interest in and guys, whatever. Be that guy that’s fun and has fun. Don’t. Think. About. Losing. Your. Virginity. Being a virgin doesn’t define you.

Now start working on things you want to work out. Wanna be fit? Exercise and eat right. Wanna be funny? Join an improv class. Do things you’re not comfortable with doing, it’s college, you’re supposed to be finding yourself. Try things you hadn’t even thought of trying. I learned to knit because I wanted a specific sweater, knitting sounds lame but I swear it’s one of the things that gets girls most interested in me. Both a bit funny, sounds like a lie but is a skill. It’s intriguing.

Accomplish stuff. Set out to run a marathon, train and then do it. Apply this to whatever you want to do. Accomplishments, big and small, make you more confident as well as interesting. But who cares? You’re not trying to get laid, remember?

Make friends. Girls and boys.

If you’re good at like the pick up lines or the negging or whatever you may get a one off fuck. But it’s not where you want to get to. You want to live in boneville and not even care because you’re busy with a lot of shit right now. That only happens with real work on oneself.

It won’t happen overnight and you will get rejections on the way and there will be setbacks. You have to work on it every day, that’s the hard part. But it does get easier.

judahman8 · 2018-05-08T09:19:44+00:00

First of all I know how you feel. What you are experiencing right now really fucking sucks and I feel for you bro. Im going to take the time to help you out but at the end of the day its up to you what you do with this information. I hope you take this seriously because Im going to write out everything you need to know in the hopes that my efforts wont go wasted.

First of all it's always your fault. You cant change the cards you are delt but you have to find a way to win the game regardless. It's not up to the cards, it's up to you and you alone.

Next, you only want a relationship so bad because you are desperate to be loved and to have that validation. Think of urself like Anikan Skywalker, he chased not losing his loved ones like you are chasing love from a girl. It will lead you down the dark side. Let it go. As a master jedi I would suggest you dont get into a relationship until after you sleep with at least 5 women. You will think you love the first one because you are so desperate. Im warning you but I know you wont listen. The best I can do is send you a video of a guy who can explain it with more detail and time, so I'll do that and keep my fingers crossed.

In my next comment I will breakdown exactly how to pick up girls step by step. Read The Mystery Method. Its like the bible of game and you need to read it. It's about picking up women but the guy who wrote it is more of genius than he realizes. The book actually breaks down the science of social dynamics and it will improve all aspects of your life believe it or not.

Sorry if I come off really cocky or over confident. When I know a lot about something I cant help but come off like that

Title	Confidence at an all time low, never was high anyway.
Author	sou1oho3
Upvotes	4
Comments	12
Date	May 8, 2018 5:28 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8huatk/confidence_at_an_all_time_low_never_was_high/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/confidence-at-an-all-time-low-never-was-high.1446240 https://theredarchive.com/post/1446240

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