You can see my last post if you want to know my history. Basically redeemed newly alpha husband (married 8 years, 2 kids). Wife had an emotional affair for awhile which really woke me up. I threatened divorce and she came back to me. We got on to better footing but it's been a slow climb.

Things have been pretty good recently, but it's been a struggle because I had no way of using dread with her (except threatening divorce). I finally found a way and did it inadvertently but it seemed to have the opposite effect?!

Basically we got a new house cleaner. She put me in charge of it. I found a local girl on facebook who was cheap and has come a few times and does a good job. I work from home, so she comes to clean while I am there once every 2-3 weeks. So this week the housecleaner messages me on facebook and says she can't come until later in the week. I happen to see that she had a really cute dog in her profile picture so I opened up her profile and showed the picture to my wife. Well the dog was not the focus of her gaze obviously and she gets pissed. She tells me that this woman looks just like her and on and on, basically insinuating that I got someone who was way too pretty to clean our house.

Well, to be honest, the house cleaner isn't bad looking at all, but no where near as cute as my wife is. It was a really good picture of her (she is not as cute as the picture made her look). So it finally clicks in my head that this is dread, for the first time I'm actually using it! I maintained frame as well as I could. Did agree and amplify. Minimized her protests as if they were nothing. Made a joke out of it basically.

She. Was. Not. Amused.

We have sex basically every night - but tonight she just got in to bed, turned off the lights, and said good night without even looking at me - this never happens. I asked her if something was wrong and did she want to talk about it (may have lost frame a little here). She just said No. So I said ok and we went to sleep. I could have made sex happen without any resistance if I wanted but I decided not to push it to see where this went. Next day same thing. Cold shoulder all day. Obviously short with me.

So do I need to just give it more time? Or does dread actually backfire sometimes? Note that my wife is extremely strong-willed, very independent. She also is very quick to tell me what's on her mind and tell me if something is wrong. So all of this is very new to both of us.