Posted on behalf of /u/ribeirao - Who couldn't post due to being a new account (and visitor)

First of all, sorry about my english, not my first language, and i'm a mess right now.

We have been together for almost 3 years now, i love that woman more than i love myself, she is the most important thing in my life, and because of another problems, she went back to hers parents house for the past 3 months.

After that we still talk like every single day via phone and IM, like, at least 3 hours a day. And we decided to go to some other country near mine, to study in a med school because it's way cheaper there. We bought the ticket together, and i was about to pay the hotel full for at least one month for both of us.

I never had much money, but everything that she needed, i sent her, the last thing was $ 300 for some clothes and bills. But please, i not such a great guy, i had a problem with alcohol, and stopped drinking, have my moments of weakness, but i'm trying so hard.

My family is against we going, but if i stay here, i don't have a job, nor a diploma, i don't have nothing, i was selling my car for this trip. And everything was perfect, in the end, it was just money.

So about a week and half she meet this guy online, and is telling me that he is cool, but wants to be with her, because he is going to our med school too, they never meet in person, only facebook and skype, and i kinda play it cool, told her to stop with the conversation and here is where the lies began.

After a big fight over this guy, she told me that she had blocked him, and i look at her friends, and yes, he was gone, i felt great, but she was different, staying online waaay past her usual bed time, sometimes i would woke up 6 am and she was still online, i would ask her, and she would just tell me that she was with insomnia or something, and great, i love her and trust her.

Until one day that my friend came to my house, and from nowhere i decided to check her friends on facebook via his account, and there he was, the guy.

I took a screenshot and sent a msg asking her if after our fight, if she had blocked him, she told me yes, i told her that she was lying, and sent the screen, she said something but i was kinda of numb, and hang up, she called me later and promise that it was nothing, "btw, this is 7 days before the trip", and i just couldn't handle it, i need to know, so i went and log on her facebook, i had hers email password, and changed from the facebook via there "i know, i'm a asshole for doind that, i'm really ashamed, but i need to know the truth".

She has been talking to him since day one, sending nude pics that she always told me that it is something that she is complete against. Calling him "my baby" "my love", i couldnt go far, but from what i could read, she told him to block me, and that after he arrived, maybe in march, she would dump me to go live with him.

After that i called her, she told that yeah, she was going do that, good thing that she did not even had to do it herself, and i hang up, and just felt to the ground, haha, i never tought that a broken heart could do something like this to a person, and went to panic mode, bought a bottle of vodka and drink all because i wanted to be asleep, it hurted so bad. So after i was complety drunk, called her, scream at her, and did some other things that i dont want to remember again. Went cold turkey again, and took a trip to my grandma to stay a couple of days before trip.

My question is, should i go? I know that we have the same flight, and i'm going to see her, and i just don't know what to do. My family does not want this trip, but if i stay here, i'm not gonna have a future that good. I went full no contact , just one msg telling her i was sorry for being drunk and scream and calling her names that night, she said it was okay, and began to write a big responde, but i just blocked her before i could see. I changed everything in my life for her, my hair cut, now i have a beard, a tattoo, have 0 friends, and my family think i'm a failure because they think that i was going just to be with her, and not to study.

Wtf do i do? Go back to her begging? I kinda want that, stay here and let her go to be with the guy, or should i go and suffer?