Redpillers who used to be clingy, how did you get rid of this behavior?

Duffius · 2014-04-24T17:24:21+00:00

There's no point in clinging to something or somone that can leave at any time, and if you cling to them or it, will only make them or it want to leave faster. Applies to cats and women.

Unconaction · 2014-04-24T20:23:55+00:00

Abundance mentality.

gt35r · 2014-04-24T18:42:32+00:00

Start talking to more women, you are idolizing one because you probably only talk to a few and she has responded the most. Seriously start meeting and talking to new people. Get as many numbers as you can even if you have doubts. It's all about the numbers game, also take a look outside on a daily basis...how many women do you see different every day? You rarely seem the same girl twice and this is in your own city...think of how VAST the world is. That one girl is not worth clinging to, trust me.

A former orbiting clingon.

MarriedRP · 2014-04-24T22:43:35+00:00

Make yourself scarce.

It takes effort. Don't always answer the phone when she calls. Don't linger on the phone when you do talk. Don't immediately return a text, if you do at all. Don't just sit around the house with her hanging out all the time. If she can't make some kind of meetup (drinks, sex, ball game, whatever), do not reschedule for her or immediately suggest an alternative.

This is the hardest one for me too, brother. I'm married. I'm supposed to spend every moment with my lovely bride, right? WRONG. Just yesterday I took off work and had a nooner with my wife (awesome btw, no kids home!) then we didn't have anything going for the rest of the evening after I got back home. So we just hung out for 7 straight hours. With nothing to do. Rainy and windy, no outdoor activities. Just stuck in the house. Things went to shit in a hurry. Arguing, bickering, nagging, whining. I'm going to find something to do away from home tonight and tomorrow night, I won't be home till after she's asleep. We'll miss each other by the weekend and all will be right with the world. And I'll try to remember my lesson.

2014-04-24T18:57:45+00:00

Clinginess will occur naturally when you're not in an alpha/abundance mindset, in lieu of a better description. The real answer is to develop an alpha/abundance mindset.

The cheap answer is to make yourself unavailable to her for a set period of time. Don't respond to her for 6 hours. When she asks where you were or what you were doing, say "I was working on a project" or "Didn't have my phone on me, sorry" or don't explain at all.

Constant availability equates to disposability.

throwwhatthere · 2014-04-24T20:15:25+00:00

This used to be my biggest fault. I overcame it by force of will. Literally forced myself to just NOT call. NOT text.

After doing this for a while I gained enough distance and perspective to see that being clingy wasn't really outcome oriented: in other words, it made no difference in any positive way (and we all know the negative things it does). I began to realize that I didn't even really have anything I was trying to achieve by being clingy. It was just something I was conditioned to do.

Forcing yourself to DHV to your woman makes her respect you, and in time it will have benefits for you too. When you're not allowed to get that quick dopamine rush by reaching out to her you start finding ways to get it elsewhere. And trust me, putting up a new PR at the gym feels infinitely better than a "What's up?" text and acknowledgement. Plus, the former will make you more valuable, the latter will detract from your value.

With time I found that I preferred not to be clingy. It felt better to live my own life and make it about me. Ultimately, the cure for being clingy is realizing that you're happier not doing it.

slcjosh · 2014-04-24T20:16:34+00:00

Stop giving a shit about anyone but yourself. Also, abundance. Always have girls you are interested in talking too or talking to actively. Stop being a pussy, only a pussy is afraid of being alone.

2014-04-25T04:16:58+00:00

Well I'm 29 now and pretty much was clingy up till 25-26? I guess after living with my ex for awhile and having dated plenty of great hot girls that just didn't work out, I guess I got over the whole glamour of it all. It's nothing special living with a girl after awhile and being in any type of LTR you start to get used to it and don't put pussy on a pedestal anymore. You get over. Or maybe it's a maturity thing, but that can happen at any age...

Either way, once you start to date more and realize women aren't this elusive magical creature whose heart you have to be lucky enough to win, and that they're really just seriously flawed, insecure, and fucked up humans, you stop and just do your own thing and let women come to you. Which is sexy in their minds too. So really it's a win-win. You get experience, you get laid, you learn what works for you in attracting and getting a female and become more confident too, and in the end, attracting more women as you get older and armed with confidence and you get to pick and choose as your SMV goes up with age and experience and theirs down. It all comes with experience really...

2014-04-24T19:56:09+00:00

You need to develop an abundance menality. If your SMV is low, this is hard to get into. Develop and further your SMV, and abundance mentality will eventually make it's way into your psyche.

That is how I got rid of the behavior.

thedarkerside · 2014-04-24T19:59:55+00:00

Learn to be happy on your own, only then try to find someone else.

If you know you don't need them, just want them, you won't be clingy.

Sturmgeist781 · 2014-04-24T20:35:53+00:00

My solution was the abundance theory.

2014-04-24T23:32:14+00:00

just start reading all those relationships posts: cheaters, cheaters everywhere, ...after a while you understand that monogamy is not natural for humans, not everyone cheats, but everyone is wired to do so, after that you die a little to tell you the thruth but a byproduct is you become more independant

2014-04-25T22:04:00+00:00

Improve yourself and cling only to yourself. When you have something of actual value in your character, people will cling to you. That feeling of actually having worth and value trumps clinging and now you'll be able to compete against those you clung to before.

TearsOfTheWeak · 2014-04-24T19:03:33+00:00

Being clingy is a manifestation of feeling unsure of yourself. (Don't leave me! Love me!)

You need to 100% know and believe that you're the shit.

If others don't see that, fuck them, you don't need their approval or validation. You validate yourself.

You're the shit remember?

2014-04-24T19:18:42+00:00

1- Start talking to more women. Get numbers, go on more dates. Options and abundance mentality

2- Start turning your phone off while you need to get stuff done. This makes you more productive, and also makes you unavailable for several hours

3- Only text to set up meetings, don't text to talk

4- Be bad as fuck.

2014-04-24T17:58:11+00:00

[permanently deleted]

joshynoob · 2014-04-24T19:48:53+00:00

I took the pill, then one day met a girl just as clingy as me if not worse. I learn by doing and forcing myself into novel experiences and that almost made me want to put my personal blinders back on. (Is was a tough pill to swallow that day)

ColdEiric · 2014-04-24T20:32:14+00:00

I read the sidebar over there to the right and tried to understand it this time.

I still have stuff left to comprehend.

BluepillProfessor · 2014-04-25T16:38:47+00:00

Every time I think I am violating the 2/3 rule with my wife and think about calling her I just repeat out loud:

"Don't be a needy, supplicating bitch."

You don't need a woman for her validation, or her approval. Develop a posse of male friends and when you feel yourself getting needy keep repeating to yourself: "Don't be a bitch."

2014-04-24T17:50:44+00:00

You are surrendering your power to an idea because you want to experience something "bigger than yourself". It's a kind of delusion. The thing that is bigger than yourself is yourself. Meaning your goals, your dreams, your interests.

What is it that you cling to? I think it's the projection of an idea. Open your eyes to the raw crap and potential of yourself and other people. And cling to standards, to excellence.

Title	Redpillers who used to be clingy, how did you get rid of this behavior?
Author	The_BitterTruth
Upvotes	3
Comments	25
Date	April 24, 2014 5:16 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/23vi4y/redpillers_who_used_to_be_clingy_how_did_you_get/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/redpillers-who-used-to-be-clingy-how-did-you-get.14544 https://theredarchive.com/post/14544

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