Low-SMV or formerly Low-SMV guys: How do you stay motivated to improve when lack of external successes are present?

Omn1c1d3 · 2015-01-23T01:05:39+00:00

Stop what you are doing right now. You have to work out and shave your head. If you want to others to like you, you have to like you. If you think your smv is low and want it improve then do it. You dont have to do it for anyone but yourself.

[deleted] · 2015-01-23T12:02:44+00:00

If getting laid is your only reason for self-improvement, you will fail. A large part of TRP is certainly dedicated to sex and women, exemplefied by the diarrha of women hate you often see on the main sub, but in essence TRP explains the importance of self improvement as a man. Regardless where you begin, any improvement on the physical/mental/social level will have far reaching positive influences in your life.

In terms of motivation, you should never compare yourself to that mythical perfect alpha millionaire model. Your battle is against the person you were yesterday and your objective is the person you can be tomorrow.

toysjoe · 2015-01-23T01:46:10+00:00

I don't improve because I crave external validation. I improve because it makes myself feel better, purely internally.

sgraff25 · 2015-01-23T00:02:01+00:00

That seems like a self imposed barrier. You can wallow and be all fatalistic about it, or you can do something about it. No one will do it for you. Figure out what you want and do it. It wont happen overnight. It might not happen for a year. It doesn't matter. Work towards something.

randomtrp · 2015-01-23T01:59:37+00:00

Are you going to the gym and working on getting in shape?

Aaron565 · 2015-01-23T02:17:05+00:00

You've got to start somewhere. It could be just cleaning your living space so you don't wake up each day disgusted. Just do something to improve.

Once that is done, do something else that is small. Do every small thing to improve that you can possibly think of. Your life situation wont be much better but its a start.

Realize that it will likely take years to get out of the mess you are currently in. But at the same time accept that you can't allow yourself to live this way forever. Stop punishing yourself just because the world gave you a shit hand.

edwardhwhite · 2015-01-23T02:20:59+00:00

its not a race. don't compete in your mind. the only time you're competing is when you and another guy are hitting on the same woman. You don't help yourself when you are totally cutting yourself down like this.

FinnianWhitefir · 2015-01-23T03:15:55+00:00

I got into Stoicism. This book http://www.amazon.com/Art-Living-Classical-Happiness-Effectiveness/dp/0061286052/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1421982616&sr=8-1&keywords=the+art+of+living was amazing at teaching me to just accept what life was like, not care about the things I could never change (Like the past), and accept that there's always one step back for every two steps forward.

You sound like you are really disconnected from people and wouldn't actually enjoy having a social/sexual life. I had really bad Social Anxiety and had to get into some therapy with a strong objective male therapist who really challenged me and helped me get over my issues. Having that one good safe relationship helped me get interested in getting out into the world and doing stuff.

But, it also sounds like you know what you need to do and it's going to take a while to get there. Keep on working hard.

[deleted] · 2015-01-23T07:33:03+00:00

Perhaps it is from aspergers, but in all honesty stuff like playing chess or reading has been far more interesting in my life then going out and getting drunk.

yes, unfortunetly that is accurate.

I find it difficult to believe that everyone who started like me were just perfect in raising their smv

I will assume you really are atypical and take this hit with more gumption that the average beta pussy boy: most guys that start out like you don't raise their SMV, don't succeed and just end up married with whoever takes them in their 40s.

Those who do put process before emotion. I.e. you do the right shit: lift, learn to relate to people at their level, raise your grades. And then you grow, you improve and you figure out how to manage life.

If you think before you act you will never get anywhere. you just have to trust the process and do.

I won't know how old you are, but after 22-25 I would just go all out on a hooker to see if you even need women, can relate with women.

Until then you date, you ask out girls you think are nice(nice not hot). Sure you will get shot down but do you even care?

MustardLordXVII · 2015-01-23T09:27:42+00:00

Jesus Christ stop ragging on him, he's just asking how you offer yourself positive reinforcement. people these days I swear

OP, find someone who was in your position but got far. Paste his photo on your wall and remind yourself where you are and where he is every time your ego is shit.

JayViceroy · 2015-01-23T12:04:16+00:00

Hello OP,

Here's a somewhat wordy, but informative post that should help you begin navigating the waters of TRP. First I'm sure you understand that everyone who finds the TRP will begin at a different point. Some guys walk in almost entirely alpha with a high SMV and use TRP to gain a broader perspective and hone in their skills. Other will walk into TRP broke, fat, ugly, lonely and depressed. Steps for man #1 will be different than the path needed for man #2. I know many guys that were that second man and have asked me for advice in my life.

Firstly, you cannot change your outward appearance or really anything about yourself for the long term unless you change your mindset and perception of the world. That man that wakes up and says, I'm going to get shit done and be the person that attracts people will no doubt get more done and be more successful on the day to day and over time than the man that just rolls out of bed tired, sloppy and upset he needs to do A, B, C things that day. Here's my suggestions:

1) Begin your day with a full, hearty and healthy breakfast. I like to wake up make myself, an omelette with the works, bacon, toast, OJ and/or some tea.

2) Before leaving your house for work or any reason, give yourself positive affirmations. "I'm going to have a great fucking day." "Im the most interesting man in the world." "I'm the smartest motherfucker on the planet." I like to swear because it gives me a bit of a IDGAF attitude. A bit of a pump up.

3) Consider getting a work out partner, preferably someone that lifts already, or hire a trainer to jumpstart your work outs.

4) Construct a vision board. Figure out what you want from yourself and make a poster that you hang in your closet or on your wall that you look at everyday before you leave your house. A vision board may sound corny but I promise you there is real psychological benefits to being able to VISUALIZE exactly what you want and remind yourself daily. Some things to include: what you want your body to look like (as a bald guy, maybe put up a picture of Jason statham), what kind of car you want to be realistically driving in 2-5 years. Where you want to be living, what house? What your ideal girl is? What's your dream job or what do you want to start now that could possibly make you money? Hobbies you want to begin, etc. I find this as very much about discovering yourself and figuring out where you want to take your life. Self exploration is enjoyable if you've never really asked yourself "what do I actually want?"

5) It seems you're the type of guy that is more so a hermit spending much your time working or at home and you don't get too much human interaction. I would say a huge component to breaking out of your shell and eventually talking to girls is, start firstly just talking to people. Talk to the maintenance guy in your building, talk to the mail man in your office, talk to the receptionist in your work lobby, talk to the barista at Starbucks. Anyone and everyone that is around you. Anything just open your mouth, weather, sports, or just say hello how's it going? Say it all with a smile.

Start with these basic steps and then continue onto the next steps. I was lucky to be surrounded by alphas in my mid to late teens that allowed me to break the shitty habits and change my ways. I did and still do all of these to this day and have had more success with business, women and life in general than most anyone I know at my age.

Anyways this is way at the bottom but I hope you see this buddy. If not, I hope it helps someone out. Life's a bitch, but it's pretty fucking cool when you start winning at it.

slater2j · 2015-01-23T16:24:37+00:00

I actually lose motivation to continue improving myself because of successes. Always just have to wait for a plate to fall and then get the engine going again.

[deleted] · 2015-01-23T00:52:03+00:00

Red pill is not for everyone. If you keep stating excuses (which all these are: out of shape, kissless virgin, computer programmer/nerd, raised in beta family, basically forever alone, grades low, diagnosed with aspergers, balding, playing chess or reading has been far more interesting in my life then going out and getting drunk, they would leave me feeling empty) maybe it isn't for you.

I found trp less than 2 months ago. I wasn't in shape, I was a virgin, i was a nerd, i was raised in beta faily, i had low grades, i am balding, I stutter. Basically all of these facts are still true. But my mentality is not that because of these I wont be able to make it, but rather things I have to improve on. It's a challenge I took. I am improving and I am allready seeing better side of life.

TL;DR: stop taking your obstacles as excuses, but as a challenge and fields you can improve on.

theproudbanana · 2015-01-23T04:38:03+00:00

WTF STOP CRYING ABOUT EVERYTHING.

dont be embarrassed. If you are balding try treating it or shave your head, since when being a programmer is bad? Get in shape and go out.Try following a diet and every time you go to the gym try lifting just a little bit more. Also try every drink, at least one will taste good, and only drink that one.

AND IN YOUR CASE LIFT A LOT BEFORE GOING OUT!! this will make you horny and you will approach more.

And who cares if you dont lift a lot. You dont need a huge body just not being super fat nor skinny as hell

Title	Low-SMV or formerly Low-SMV guys: How do you stay motivated to improve when lack of external successes are present?
Author	randomtrp
Upvotes	8
Comments	20
Date	January 22, 2015 11:26 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2tcdc8/lowsmv_or_formerly_lowsmv_guys_how_do_you_stay/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/low-smv-or-formerly-low-smv-guys-how-do-you-stay.145524 https://theredarchive.com/post/145524

Comments