When did you realise its time to start making moves and asking a girl/guy out?

Manners2210 · 2018-11-22T18:39:40+00:00

When I realised that he who hesitates.,,.masturbates. Closed mouths don’t get fed out here bro!

Baloo020 · 2018-11-23T10:03:53+00:00

Trying to date a girl who is into guys that go after what they want and "just do it". Broke my heart, but I grew a lot -- another story though.

Also realizing that THEY WANT YOU TO DO IT SO FUCKING DO IT YOU IDIOT.

But you know that already. You just have to make an experience that will solidify that kind of thinking in your head. There is a difference between "knowing" and "feeling" it, ya know?

SpaceChauffeur · 2018-11-22T19:54:44+00:00

I recognized that this was emblematic of a larger problem in my life. Not only in love but also work and other kinds of relationships. In the words of William Blake, “He who desires but acts not, breeds pestilence”.

I realized that my fear to act on my desires was ultimately to blame for my poor mental health. My fear of failure was keeping me from experiencing the things I wanted to experience most in life which in turn led to depression and me being a negative influence in other people’s lives. I realized that even though I was still only in my early 20s at the time, I had to start acting on my desires right then and there or it might forever be too late.

Sure I’ve been rejected many, many times but realizing that the pain of regret is worse than the pain of rejection and failure has also led me to relationships that have taught me about life and myself and that I will treasure for the rest of my life. Not to be too sappy, but I think it helps to evaluate for yourself why you are so afraid of acting on your desires. Just honestly reflecting on that can make a huge difference.

DAOcomment2 · 2018-11-23T00:54:08+00:00

You want to hear that it's one moment of realization that changes everything. Because then you could fix your problem by seeking out a burning bush moment. You have long "realized" what you need to do, though you never do it. It was mostly many little moments, death by a thousand cuts. It was the passage of too much time, because you're comfortable enough being a little unhappy, whereas becoming a bolder person is uncomfortable.

You can't think your way out of your situation. You already realize what needs to be done. You realize you are not the version of yourself who can do it. You need decisions not more realizations. Decide you are going to make self-change your project. Decide you are going to invest time practicing social skills. Progressively baby step towards your social fears, until your former fears are well within your expanded comfort zone.

You can nod and say this makes sense but it is just another useless realization. Decide to be uncomfortable. Decide to practice socializing at the boundary of your comfort zone, where you are doing things that make you a little nervous. Repeat that over and over again until you're desensitized and have to push further to feel uncomfortable again.

Title	When did you realise its time to start making moves and asking a girl/guy out?
Author	ThePersonof21
Upvotes	10
Comments	5
Date	November 22, 2018 6:28 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/9zgkqm/when_did_you_realise_its_time_to_start_making/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/when-did-you-realise-its-time-to-start-making.1457215 https://theredarchive.com/post/1457215

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