I can be the funniest guy a lot of people know. But I can also try too hard at times.How do I stop myself from trying too hard, but how do I also avoid being a boring stick in the mud?

Simply_Bry · 2019-01-08T12:42:02+00:00

I'm kinda in the same boat as you. Having a good sense of humor can be very beneficial, but there needs to be a limit. I remember a few years back reading an article about how being funny too much can work backwards because people indirectly get the impression you value the amusement of other people more than your own amusement. They will then lose respect for you. I also asked myself the question: of all the people I like now and liked in the past, how many were hilariously funny? I can't remember even one person being/trying to be as funny as I did every day. And most of them were way more successfull than me when it comes to sexual experiences.

So I was dedicated to 'reprogram' myself in being a more serious guy and tell not more than 1 or 2 jokes per person a day. I was a lot in my head to force myself to shut up when I wanted to tell yet another joke. But this eventually became a habit and I can say it worked out pretty good. I have the idea people respect me more than before. My social interactions are more solid and I'm now way better with girls. But this is also because of RSD.

2019-01-08T09:15:57+00:00

just relax. why do you even have to be the funnierst guy? ask yourself

WildinCuzImYoung · 2019-01-08T13:41:05+00:00

Be conscious of why you act. Are busting jokes for you or others? Will you be affected by the outcome or just enjoy it and let the energy flow? Do you care about if others will like you more if the joke is funny and so try hard to make sure that its funny or just expressing yourself?

Its only bad to think of a joke for an hour if you are dependent on others liking it and not for the art of humor. Get yourself esteem up and stop giving a fuck if people will laugh or not as long as you are not too obnoxious fuck what others think you'll crack some eggs living live and not just existing.

2019-01-08T14:25:25+00:00

Go easy. Be gentle with yourself. Listen to others. This Joker has finally has Learned that everyone has a story, even the dull and ignorant.

You will find space to shine in the light if others.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-01-08T14:41:59+00:00

1

I can be the funniest guy a lot of people know.

Being funny is so NOT required.

Connecting and relating to people is required. Like what if you could jump into her head and have a better idea of what to say? I'm not offering magic here, but the truth of the matter is, people actually WANT to be understood most of the time, so if you simply pay attention and actively listen to them, they'll hand you the information you need to connect and relate to them.

Unless they're robots, they'll have expressions on their face. Unless they're paralyzed, they'll have physical responses in their body to the environment and people around them. All you need is the ability to tell the difference between things like a frown and a smile, or to tell if someone is moving their body closer to or away from someone, to tell something about them and what they're feeling.

2

But I can also try too hard at times.How do I stop myself from trying too hard....

There's no trick to this really. It requires work. The work of reminding yourself that trying hard comes off desperate and is actually self-defeating.

It also requires you working on yourself, to build up trust in yourself. This is less specific because it requires you pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. Testing yourself and finding out your limits and what you can do. Choose something and develop a skill. And so on. You need to understand your own value as a person, at a gut level, to really get to where you won't need to try hard.

Once you reach that, you'll start to internalize this idea that some people just won't get along and that's okay. So it's pointless to try to please everyone. Some will get along; great! Some won't; they aren't for you anyway.

3

but how do I also avoid being a boring stick in the mud?

You have to observe and use what you observe. There's a TON of material around you all the time. If people have expressions and if they're doing something, all of that gives you something to talk about. David Wygant has a great video on developing your observations skills and using them to make conversation or open people.

If you want something that works on everyone? Sorry, no such thing exists. Some people just won't be having it and that's not on you.

4

I was thinking about telling one good joke an hour, and trying not to do it much more than that?

Jokes are a dead-end. You want to make an impact? Listen to someone and follow-up on what you observe and hear. Show you're paying attention. Most people DON'T so even try so even if you catch some of it, you'll be in a way better position because everyone else is trying to tell jokes and tell the best stories about themselves, etc, so someone who turns that on its head by asking the girl about HER, will grab her attention.

When you follow up on something she has said, it's pretty powerful to ask about her emotions (how she feels about something) or motivations (why she did something).

piperson · 2019-01-08T15:48:10+00:00

Being funny is a real asset. People like likable people. The problem is that being funny is only a part of who we are. It's good to be able to switch at any given moment. It's good to pay attention to the signals that your friends give you. Are they becoming quiet? Then tone down the jokes.

Also when it's time to get sexy, jokes could really work against you. It's important to be able to look at the girl in the eyes. It's like the old expression, "the eyes are the window to the soul." When you look into another's eyes, you can see where they are at. Do they look stimulated or tired? If they seem tired, just stop talking. Leave a space for her to say something or suggest something.

When I am feeling good, I tell jokes. It's a natural extension of my feeling good. But if I see someone giving me looks after telling a joke, I get the hint, it's time to be quiet, or start to make fun of yourself for telling too many jokes. But the most important thing is to keep aware of her state, through occasional eye contact. And follow the clues you receive.

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