I've been reading this sub for about two weeks now. I have a story that I will try to keep brief yet informative.

I use to be an alpha male. I know it, I was a captain of my athletic team, president of my fraternity, worked out consistently, women approached me not the other way around, I had respect and status, and most importantly, i had confidence. I don't remember doubting myself very much.

Something happened when I turned 23 that changed my life. I was diagnosed with depression. My grades dropped, I quit working out and got horribly out of shape, my hair started falling out, i graduated college only because my professors liked me and knew how smart I was. They pitied me and let me finish. I tried to commit suicide twice. My one professor helped me so much I owe her everything. She was a counselor and worked with me for free.

I am no longer depressed. I have a job (elementary school teacher & coach for the sport I played in college). I have a hobby as a comedian. I make great money, live in a nice apartment in a nice part of town. I have no stress but I still don't feel like my old self. I don't have my confidence. I still haven't gotten back into shape, I haven't been on a single date or even had sex with a girl in over a year and honestly, I have no desire to. I'm afraid of making any sort of connection with anybody.

This can't be normal. I read the redpill sidebar articles about being alpha and it being natural. Holding onto your frame, working out, not looking at porn. My life use to be that, now it's the opposite. Has this happened to anyone else? How did you change it?

TL;DR: Was an alpha. Became poster boy beta. Wants back old life. Can't figure out what's going on wrong.