I'm not naturally RP, but I've had some good results after reading the materials here (thanks, TRP!). I've met 6 Tinder matches in the last month, 4 that I liked. Of those 4, I escalated well with all of them, but they all don't seem to want to see me again:

1) Wasn't into her (she's heavier than expected), I didn't escalate, no big deal.

2) Met up for coffee, escalated slowly and kissed once at the end of the first date. We agreed to meet again. We met 3 days later and fucked. A week later I text her to meet up again, and she tells me she's not interested.

3) Met up for coffee, escalated quickly and had amazing sex. I had a blast, she was screaming during and nearly incoherent after (in a positive way, obv.). I text to meet again, she declines (wtf?).

4) Met up at a bar, escalated quickly (kiss within 15 minutes, making out within 20 minutes). We both knew beforehand we didn't have time to go further but agree to meet again. I text her later to get together again, she declines.

5) Met up, she weighs >100 lbs more than expected. Didn't escalate. No big deal.

6) Met up for coffee, escalated quickly (making out within 30 minutes). I think she's surprised at this (she says: "you're a little charmer aren't you?" Me, smiling: "I thought I was a big charmer"). Again, we both knew beforehand we couldn't go further, but she's talking about how and when we can meet again. She's also telling me how she thinks I'm a really nice person (bad sign, probably). So far she's not responding to meeting again and my gut says it's not happening.

tl;dr of what I want to know:

  • I've heard that escalating quickly without fucking can be bad. Is that the consensus here? It's hard to schedule a first date when both of us are available to fuck, and postponing the date usually means they bail before we even meet.

  • With #2 and #3, both of whom I fucked, we laid together a long time, kissing and talking afterwards as I held them (aww). Does that change their perception of me as less alpha? (I hope not because it's a part of it that I enjoy).