Girl likes me but is in a relationship

NextSpinach · 2019-06-30T10:36:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2019-06-30T14:09:00+00:00

What do you do? Make the “Jim” face into the camera and pine after her for several years, making yourself miserable. Or you move on and find someone else to bang. It will definitely make her jealous and for her to make a choice.

NextSpinach · 2019-06-30T10:43:15+00:00

Depends. It sounds as though she loves the drama and high intensity. I'd say if you were gonna do anything make sure that she is well shot of her other half, it kinda sounds like she'd thrive at the idea of you and him fighting for her.

Make sure you delete any messages from her, as you don't want evidence on your phone.

In terms of work. If you are progressing with her, make sure that anything done isn't likely to get back to management that you were responsible for.

BlueRibbon998 · 2019-06-30T14:53:13+00:00

Until you know for a fact that she breaks up with her boyfriend, you should stay away from her and not give in to what she's doing. From the sounds of it, she's using you as a back burner option when/if she breaks up with her boyfriend. Being a back burner option for someone is just about the most insulting thing you could be for someone.

Plus, doing anything with someone that is taken is just a big no in general. Ask yourself how you'd like it if you were dating her but you found out that some guy behind your back was putting his hands all over her.

I had something similar happen to me a few years ago. A new hire at my job came in and had a crush on me. She was flirtatious and always touching me. When I found out she had a boyfriend, I immediately stopped buying in to her attention. Temptation is hard, but you have to fight it. The outcome of this can only end badly whether it be long-term or short-term.

2019-06-30T15:16:00+00:00

She’s grooming you as an orbiter. You have two decent options: use her as an opportunity to practice your flirting and/or friend zone her, or try and force her to make a decision on you by escalating.

The worst thing you can do is get sucked into liking her but doing nothing... you’ll end up spending a bunch of time, energy, and emotional capital giving her attention and getting nothing out of it.

Just remember, if she’s pulling this on her current boyfriend now, that could easily be you.

No matter what you do, you should definitely be identifying other, more solid leads.

BiaxialPositive · 2019-06-30T18:38:44+00:00

Yikes. I've been in that situation before and learned the hard way. Her exact words were "If I'm not married by 35, let's marry each other." Good thing I got out of that.

If you have a shred of dignity left in you, don't take her offer. What you have to do is to be firm with your boundaries. You see, she is using you as a constant source of attention. Never let her treat you as the backup choice. Tell her that your relationship is making you uncomfortable and it would be better if you just stayed as workmates. Stop feeding her attention. If she still doesn't back down, talk to your higher-ups such as your boss or the HR dept about the situation. Now the most important thing is to save everything as evidence. Do not delete those text messages, chats, call logs. These will be extremely useful to you once she tries to file false sexual harassment/ rape charges the moment she feels that her social status is being threatened.

Good luck, u/DrRehabilitowany

2019-06-30T20:54:52+00:00

Enjoy your flirtationship, it’s fun, harmless and good practice

2019-06-30T16:25:21+00:00

Just fuck her

Sammyjskj · 2019-06-30T16:50:42+00:00

Keyword in your text is "when I'm single". She obviously has lost interest in her boyfriend. Same thing happened to my sister and her ex-fiance. She lost interest and started flirting with other, and eventually broke up with him.

nick_storm · 2019-06-30T16:54:08+00:00

Dude, she hooked you. Watch HIMYM S05E16. Her line, "when I'm single..." Is like her saying, "You're cute and funny, but I have a boyfriend... RIGHT NOW." It's almost comical.

2019-06-30T17:39:01+00:00

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wowzacowza · 2019-06-30T18:07:31+00:00

Most likely she's bored with her relationship and she sees you as an attractive, exciting alternative. Now, the important question is, is she actually unhappy in her relationship and looking to get out of it? Or, is she just looking for some fun and excitement that she's currently not getting in her relationship but has no plans to end said relationship? This is really difficult to gauge, and it's obviously very sensitive territory, so you want to be cautious about probing her to find out.

One strong piece of advice I can give you is don't let this relationship become one way. Don't make any commitments to her she won't make to you. Don't be her backup and sit around waiting for her to break up with her boyfriend, because that might never happen. I would strongly encourage you to continue talking to other girls, and make it clear to this girl that if she wants to keep you around "until she's single" you can't promise you will stay single for her.

big007too · 2019-06-30T18:26:19+00:00

MAN get away you donot get in drama there are literallly thousand single girls out there find them. Why waste your time and energy on a women who clearly have no moral standing and u cannot have a sure that you will get laid if you did and if her boyfriend find out he can create trouble for you at work and many other ways why you have to go down that road better tinder

2019-06-30T21:43:25+00:00

why are you giving all this attention to a girl with a boyfriend. it's a lose-lose-lose

if you're just trying to fuck her then it's not worth your time cos there are plenty of hot girls to put your peepee inside. So if you put all this effort just for some action you are coming from maaaad scarcity. she's living rent free in your head basically. pussy move
if you're trying to make her a fuckbuddy then the same logic applies, there are PLENTY of hot girls to make a fuck buddy
if you're trying to make her your girlfriend then.... phewwww you done fucked up big time cos she's a hoe. some amazing advice I heard one time was "if she's cheating on her boyfriend with you, then she becomes your girlfriend, she's gonna cheat on you too and then she's on to the next one". Her flirting with you and all that shit already shows she ain't relationship material AT ALL. so once again you're wasting your time

basically I have no idea why you are putting so much mental effort into trying to figure out a hoe (and I mean hoe as in slut not hoe as in all women). there's plenty of hoes out there who are equally good looking.

in simple terms bro, I'm not saying not to have fun with her and flirt. go for it, I've done that with girls with BFs at work aswell. I was making out in the wine cellar with this girl with a BF that I flirted with loads at work for example BUT I don't go on reddit trying to figure out how to actually get her. Why? cos the chances of it working out are so low that it should just be a passing thought like "hmmh, i'll hit her up see if she's down". not like a big fuckin story of trying to get the girl, spend your time somewhere where you will actually get a decent return on your investment.

Do you know how many girls you could be banging and how much you could be improving your game and your life if you just allocated this energy and mental focus, to going out and gaming girls. imagine you put this energy into going out one night, getting a bunch of numbers, a bunch of dates, a bunch of lays, then a bunch of fuck buddies etc. etc. etc. you catch my drift.

i hate seeing questions about specific girls if she ain't already your fuck buddy or your girlfriend. cos if she ain't, just this much attention is already too much.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-07-01T02:11:06+00:00

1

At the end of last week some things got said that led to a serious conversation about the whole situation and she finished with 'when I'm single, you'll take me out for a coffee'.

So she's signalling that she doesn't see her relationship as lasting. But you're kind of glossing over a LOT of important things here. Like what was actually said and spelled out in the "serious conversation."

Verbatim, what did you say during that serious conversation? What did she say?

2

We hit it off straight away....

....some things got said that led to a serious conversation about the whole situation

....and she finished with 'when I'm single, you'll take me out for a coffee'.

Now this week, she started off hot. She couldn't keep her hands off me on Monday. She acted all sexy and made sure I'm noticing. I'm not sure if I should had made a definite move but she's been with the guy for the past 4 years and I don't want that mess in my life.

Yeah, the total sum of this is that she's a girl who's acting unstable, manipulative, insecure, and needy. She is dealing with whatever relationship problems she clearly has with her BF, by starting a new relationship before she's had the guts to break-up with him. It should be clear that she's not good relationship material. Part of your mind might try to bargain here by trying to frame this as if you'd be cool with a little exciting affair, only you have already said enough that shows you're more into something serious.

It's tough because it can feel pretty awesome to feel like, "Oh shit, her feels for me are so great that she can't even contain herself even though she's with another guy!"

If you were after something casual, this might be a different conversation. But you're NOT. You're after something serious. And under that category, this girl is putting up a lot of red flags. Responding to relationship problems by starting a new relationship, is the sort of problem solving approach she'd bring to whatever you end up having with her.

3

The next couple days weren't like that. Still fun, great laugh, good conversations when it gets quiet at work. But on Thursday I got a bit more flirtatious with her and she loved it. Couldn't keep her hands off me again and started texting me after work.

It's not that amazing or unusual that someone like her, who lacks the bravery to break up with someone she shouldn't be with and has too much fear to be alone, would latch onto a guy like you.

You're both suffering from forms of desperation. It won't end well.

4

Guys, what do? I need some sane advice cause I'm obviously not thinking clearly.

You know what you need to do. You need to get away from this girl, stop placing so much importance on her, and start getting more going for yourself socially so this girl doesn't seem like the best thing going for you.

What does your social life look like at the moment? What do you do? Where do you go when you go out? Who do you often hang out with?

(If you mention your metro area and hobbies, I can offer some suggestions for things to do that could help you meet more people.)

pm_me_your_fartsss · 2019-06-30T11:27:29+00:00

This is bad advice

Be her side man.. all the sex without the work of a relationship and the sex is even better because of all the sneaking around.. ALWAYS WEAR PROTECTION

Title	Girl likes me but is in a relationship
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	48
Comments	25
Date	June 30, 2019 10:24 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/c7bm8m/girl_likes_me_but_is_in_a_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/girl-likes-me-but-is-in-a-relationship.1472582 https://theredarchive.com/post/1472582

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