When life hits you is the moment you realise it's time to change. A process that started long ago and I tried several times to cure it on my own, but now I have decided to put it publicly and seek support of this subreddit.

My problem is I am handsome, tall, resourceful, and I have lots to offer. This is a problem because even with those quality my self esteem is low, and I am very ensecure. In subtle levels.

The problem of approaching I have got over it and now I can do those just fine. I am learning game and blah, blah, all those stuff are very useful and help a lot but the self esteem remain low (I had even a burn out because rejections are very painful and on the surface you feel fine but then after a time they hit you hard on the ego and you just feel tired)

I'm talking too much but I felt like giving some context.

When it's time to bring things to next level I make always some strange excuses, but what I have realised is at the root of it it's not the judgment of people watching me or other stuff( I mean with kissing or touching that sometimes I do just fine pushing myself or not pushing mentally) But it is the SEX that scares me.

I'm so fucking scared of sex with strangers that when possibilities arises I don't get erection, I stop being in the flow of the flirt, everything starts being so strange, cringe and I start saying things like today "and.... So?" like wtf is this sentence ahahah but I need to take it in the most positive way and say it's OK it's part of the process. So even once I forced myself in the bedroom and then I got no erection. Gave oral sex, talked and it was a beautiful night but I had no sex.

Anyway I say it again. I'm scared of sex and only with some very sweet exes that understood it and gave me the possibility to have a very comfortable and understanding situation I felt like using all my masculine energy. So it's not sex itself. But sex with new people. I don't know where it comes from. Probably a multitude of variables and past events. Probably self esteem problems, maybe even if rationally I know my dick is normal (15 cm) and had several feedback on it I am still afraid of comparison with others, or I don't know.

What do you suggest?

Thanks for listening and sorry for the long rant, I needed to write all those things .