Maybe someone has some advice on not blowing it in the moment. Sometimes I just miss the boat by not anticipating that they will escalate for me.

#1. I was trying to un-friend zone myself. I made her chase for 3 weeks. I never escalated as we work together and I am at a higher pay grade than her. She also seems like an "active dater" but I got a lot of IOS over the weeks. Jealousy, constant eye contact, and finding reasons to seek me out. One day she straight asked me to come to my friend's party. I declined. She then stated that she had every Saturday off and that I could come over to her house and drink with her and watch horror movies. I didn't really respond. Three days later I asked her out on a real date....she flaked.

#2. At the bar. My best friend was hitting on this girl who is his friend all night that he really likes. He goes to the bathroom and she tells me to take her home. I know my best friend had a crush on her for months so I told her that she and I weren't happening that evening. The next day she gave me the cold shoulder. She's basically friend zoned me since using every time I attempt to be nice to her as an opportunity to show higher value.

#3. I'm ordering a chain at the jewelry store. I make great eye contact with the cashier and smile. She asks me what I am doing that evening. I told her I was having family time with the parents as I try to spend one day a week with them to keep up. She said that, that was sweet. I asked her what she was doing. She said that she was kinda a shut in and explained what she was making for dinner and that she was going to catch a movie on netflix. I just assumed it was customer service but she didn't really smile at the guy behind me nor engage him the way she did with me.

Any advice on how to catch the moment or go with the flow better? I can't tell if sometimes I'm ignorant or self-destructing some of these....