22 year old kissless virgin, feeling like no one understands me.

ElChivoDiablos · 2019-08-16T21:12:11+00:00

Your life is comparable to mine but also opposite cause I was a major atheist asshole that didn’t care bout anything and would hang with the wrong people. But my advice to you is to manage what you got. Like your job, finding a partner, salsa , and your education. Make time for all of it in some way but you’re on the right track to bring more social especially with the leader mindset. Try online dating it’s easier in my opinion. Hope up brother. Think positive and always repeat any positive thinking to yourself. Never give up

Tardisand · 2019-08-17T00:28:27+00:00

that is one message soup. you threw in a little of everything:
Religion. Family. Traveling. Daygame. Sasla. School. Suicide. Software.

1) you ramble on like a female. mixing everything together. playing victim. blaming external sources. saying no one understands you. at least acknowledge that.

2) focus on one thing at a time. women like a man that has his shit together. they like a man with ambition. if you have 1 thing going well for you is better than if you have 5 things in shambles. when you have one thing going well for you that you can fall back on then you can handle failures in the next thing. when you have 2-3 things failing at the same time and nothing to fall back on to make you feel good, you will automatically feel like a loser. it is unavoidable. on top of that it may seem like there's some grand scheme. you will wonder "why is this happening to me?" one thing at a time.

3) leadership is: assertiveness, confidence and integrity. they come with practice and experience. put yourself in different situations. you will learn to be less apprehensive. you will learn how to solve different problems. you will learn to be comfortable with yourself AND with other people's discomfort. over time this builds your confidence which allows you to communicate with conviction. it requires some arrogance. since you are in engineering i imagine you are logical and democratic. so when it comes to decision making you want to explore all the options, let everyone know the good/bad options, have them decide so that everyone is happy in making the best possible choice. as a leader you learn to carry thru with the decision. this puts a lot of people at ease. decision making is not easy. most dogs like us are not equipped to be leaders. look at most dogs when you give them too much freedom. they get very anxious. watch Cesar Milan the dog whisperer. majority of cases are because a 'follower' dog is given too much choice. the dog is anxious and misbehaves. Cesar solves these cases by leading. he sets boundaries for the dog. he is firm. the dog calms down. when you have integrity and have gained expertise thru experience, people will trust and naturally follow you. the first step is dealing with your own discomfort.

4) the harder you try to get the kiss, lay, gf, whatever, the more desperate you will be. it will repel any chance of attaining it. concentrate on yourself. when you go out to meet girls, do it to have fun. that is the objective. you can't personalize the experience. monitor your internal dialogue. change from "crap. i just screwed up my chances with that girl. that was terrible" to "i can't believe i just put on a shit show for that girl. that was hilarious. let's do it again"

i admit a lot of this broad BS is garbage. it may be inspirational for a day. what really works is a step by step plan. learn body language. master body language. communicate with dogs using body language alone. learn vocal tones. practice tones. gauge people's interest while communicating (falls back to knowing body language). master tonality via people's subconscious feedback (body language). learn to handle discomfort without showing self-soothing behavior (tapping foot, swaying back & forth, crossing your legs, crossing arms, etc). i think in PUA this is called being grounded. put yourself in uncomfortable situations. the objective is to remain grounded. monitor your behavior. if you lose self awareness then there is no feedback. you will do the same things over and over without improving. when you are comfortable in different situations, then practice being present. live in now; not what happened or what will happen. when someone is interacting with you, don't be somewhere else or inside your own head. escapism is a form of avoidance. confront issues willingly. you want to face challenges head-on (with gradual increase in intensity). you will learn that you can handle confrontation.

if all else fails listen to SOD, Speak English or Die, Track 3. if that does not motivate you, i don't know what will.

NotAHippo4 · 2019-08-17T02:03:13+00:00

Just gonna be blunt here - stop being so pathetic. The past doesn't matter. And even if you've had sex, it doesn't automatically fix you. If anything, you'll just get super attached to a 4/10 fat girl because she's the first one who gave you the time of day, and that will go on for a few months until it implodes and you'll be a just-as-broken husk for the next 3 months after that.

For now, it's time to get in the gym until you look like someone who goes to the gym. You will suffer, it will break you, you'll fail at it until you eventually decide to succeed. And your whole mindset will change. Girls will follow eventually.

Go to kagedmuscle.com for training programs - come back and complain after you've done the 8 week muscle building trainer through twice if you still haven't found that your entire life has changed.

There is no point doing day game or any type of game when you're in your current mindset. I tell you that as someone who has been there. The more you obsess about approaches and techniques when the rest of your mindset is fucked, the worse things actually get. And then the irony is that when you don't want women any more because you're committed to other stuff like working out or building a business - that's when the women annoyingly start to come into your life and you're not even sure if you can be bothered with them. That's where I'm at now.

thestone2 · 2019-08-16T23:11:23+00:00

Stop masturbating to porn.

vickmasters · 2019-08-16T21:57:55+00:00

You asked for motivation and advice at the beginning of the post. But for what? you wrote sort of a back story but not what you really want moving forward.

What is it that you want (goals) that you need motivation and advice for?

StanislavRedFox · 2019-08-16T22:40:54+00:00

I suggest you to read the book of Pook. Look for It on Google. It totally changed my mind about girls and relationships. Read It and you'll understand what you're doing wrong. Good luck my friend!

bemore_ · 2019-08-17T04:58:17+00:00

Sounds like the making of a manwhore. I'm kidding but not really, you're just a late bloomer. You'll kill it .. if you can get over yourself

You'll understand it all one day.. if you keep moving forward. It all gets a lot easier but it will all be very painful in the meantime. It will be shorter than you think but longer than you may wish for

You're story is not that important, you might want to let it go now. Go and kiss a girl already, they don't bite. Maybe then advices and motivation would meet you in a better place

Title	22 year old kissless virgin, feeling like no one understands me.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	24
Date	August 16, 2019 8:35 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/crc3k4/22_year_old_kissless_virgin_feeling_like_no_one/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/22-year-old-kissless-virgin-feeling-like-no-one.1476268 https://theredarchive.com/post/1476268

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