Is there any hope for an average quiet guy?

Didier_Frogba · 2019-08-20T20:57:50+00:00

Yes, being quiet will be the downfall to your dating life. You need to act interested in the girl! How do you do that? By asking questions! The women that you're dating most likely think you're boring and uninterested. If you are quiet and don't enjoy talking about yourself, that's fine. Just learn to ask questions about their life, give feedback and then ask more. They will unconsciously feel drawn to you.

paulvario11 · 2019-08-20T20:55:26+00:00

quiet like you don't talk at all ?

WIA20XX · 2019-08-21T01:30:35+00:00

In the past two months, I've been on about 20 dates,

From Bumble?

You're doing better than most guys here.

You are probably getting these chicks out because of your looks, but losing them because you're boring to them.

You have to realize that girls need to be stimulated emotionally by you. That's what "chemistry" is.

Your low energy shtick is pushing them away.

Two options.

1) Don't change, stay the course, possibly check for other low energy girls in low energy environments (book clubs). It's just a question of volume. You are getting enough dates for you to just be lazy.

2) Change your personality to attract these girls that require emotional energy. That's probably not appealing to you.

Keep in mind no girl really wants to get razor burn on her snatch - but she does it because guys like a trimmed garden or clean landing strip.

Your choice.

bcool87 · 2019-08-20T21:12:01+00:00

There's no hope if you don't lean into your introversion and own it. If you do, yes, there's plenty of hope. Indeed, I'd argue that being an introvert can be better for game. You're less likely to say something stupid from overtalking. You have the potential to be more mysterious and not disclose everything. You're also less likely to come across as try hard, a braggart, a bad listener, or a motor mouth, problems I'd say are way more common on dates. You do need to learn how to be more engaging and interested though. I think that's the biggest challenge for us. Frankly, a good date doesn't just mean you were interesting, but that the girl also feels like you were INTERESTED. That's something guys in their head all the time don't appreciate. Girls are nervous and want dates to go well too. They want to know you like them to some extent. During certain periods (I'm going through one of those again because I've been working a lot), women just don't think I give a damn because I'm so aloof. So you need to be aware of that, and get a girl talking by being interesting/interested, especially at the start. Once you assume the conversational burden at the start, and get the girl talking, then you can sit back. Doesn't even have to be boring interview either. Play with statements like "I feel like you're x y z" or simply "....guess." Also learn to be more physical. There are multiple levels of communication. Verbal is just one. I've found success as a quiet guy so of course you can too.

Redhairedleo · 2019-08-20T21:34:28+00:00

Hello! You just have to wait for the one. I am a girl and there is a messy situation because the guy which I like is my ex boyfriends friend and he is pretty quiet but I like that for him, it is sometimes a bit hard to find topics in conversation because he is quiet but you know, for me it is very interesting what he is thinking and what he wants to do.. You just have to somehow find the girl who is going to like your quietness

alonzoftw · 2019-08-21T00:52:30+00:00

Yes. You need to be able to verbally escalate: tease, push/pull, assume, role play, question. You have to be able to ground by telling her about yourself, otherwise she’ll go home and wonder if she had a date with a stranger. Women should talk I’d say somewhere around 70% of the time on your date, they love to talk about themselves but you have to bridge the 30% with those actions in between to be successful.

What is your goal in dating? Finding the one? Having fun? Socially what type of woman do you want? Will you be as social as her in friend and family gatherings? If not, that’s a big problem (if you’re looking to get married.) Some women won’t mind but that’s the exception.

Continuing this path I’m sure you can get close to ‘the one,’ however, you’re basically filtering yourself heavily from all the potential fun you can have along your dating journey.

Title	Is there any hope for an average quiet guy?
Author	Storm-Spirit
Upvotes	5
Comments	11
Date	August 20, 2019 8:43 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ct5tx8/is_there_any_hope_for_an_average_quiet_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-there-any-hope-for-an-average-quiet-guy.1476557 https://theredarchive.com/post/1476557

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