Went to a swingers party for the second time yesterday at a club downtown. The majority of the women were no younger than 35 years of age (with only one late twenty something year old). I can say for certain that any kind of sex at a swingers party is the ultimate test for vulnerability and handling of rejection, which makes daygame pale in comparison. It really stings a lot when you having women who approximate your "ideal" or "iconographic archetype" reject you. Nonetheless in spite of the copious sex I had , an array of "masculinity issues" have cropped up to me following on from this occasion and engaged in a sort of routine rendezvous with a timely fantasy of fucking older, mature women who physically fit the archetype of 'mothers' or 'authority figures'.

However, a type of feminine archetype that has been recurring to me as of lately is the 'the femme fatale' or quasi 'dominatrix;. Dark outfits, dark hair (or redhair), tall stature.... there is a kind of 'masculine' femininity to this archetype I am really turned on by. The idea of seducing and fucking a woman who is physically bigger than me provokes a sort of caustic masculinity in me - fucking an "Amazonian" has a fuck yeah! edge to it because I get to physically envelop and pleasure a women of immense physical stature. At the party, my mindset automatically regressed into telling myself that I have to meet a very specific masculine archetype to meet such women - be at least 6' in height and have lots of muscle definition. Somehow, I seem pretty convinced "performing" the whole James Marshall mindful, meditative, playful vagabond would suffice. Nearly all of my successful interactions through daygame and nightgame had involved some degree of imitation of seducers I had observed on YouTube. Yet I need to consolidate those personality traits with my so-called 'intellectual, left-field, profusely creative interests. It seems to me that I need to have some degree of commonality with these women before I bother consider chatting them up. Yet it's very well likely that I don't physically meet the "prerequisite archetype", being 24, 5'7' with a 'slight' but mostly thin build with crazy long hair.

A guy, who happened to be husband of these types of women aroused this insecurity in me when he said in the dark room: "sorry mate, it's not happening. Not taking a shot at you or anything". Another women (who I wasn't into anyway but was part of a social circle of these types of women) did it again by telling me how unattractive my fucked up long hair was and how I needed to cut it. I should of probably made a joke out of it by saying "yeah, I dye my high six times a day."

But hey, I was a first timer and I had more rampant sex than on any other occasion ever, which left me knackered and buzzed, eager to resume work on a musical project of mine with zero distraction from porn and sex workers. It probably pays to do a substantial amount of daygame before going to such parties. My social intelligence was a bit off due to a lack of extensive approaching that week (I had met an 18 year old school girl the day before though, who I chatted en route to a friend's place - I literally stopped and locked up my lime scooter to approach her).