Why does telling a girl you like her always backfire?

banquos_horse · 2019-10-05T03:01:03+00:00

What do you expect them to do when you tell them you like them? Even if they like you back you're still just throwing the ball in their court and asking them to make the next move.

You actually can tell a girl you like her and it will change very little, your problem is expecting it to have changed something and waiting for a response when you haven't brought anything new to the table. Of course you like her she's an attractive girl as if she didn't already know that.

You can adopt the bluntly honest frame of "of course I like you you're a hot girl" which stops you coming off as over invested and changes very little except now you've shown yourself to be a little more confident and the tone is a little more sexual. Note that stating your intention like this doesn't stop you prioritizing your own goals or teasing her, the point is that her being a hot girl and you being into her doesn't change much.

Observe cultures where the men are much more overt in their intentions and women are brushing them off as if it's nothing because they already know that men are attracted to them.

0001none · 2019-10-05T03:26:04+00:00

Because uncertainty is what keeps girls interested.

wawakaka · 2019-10-05T06:13:44+00:00

You are no longer a challenge

She gets bored and looks for someone more challenging

hubbycaps · 2019-10-05T09:11:41+00:00

this sub is kinda weird.

Yesterday, it's like: ''Why does being direct with a girl and telling her i like her get me the best results??!'' - and everyone's like ''Because it shows confidence. Girls know why you like them. It's manly and puts you above everyone else who is playing games''

Today, ''why does telling a girl you like her always backfire?'' and everyone's ''you've killed the tension, your aren't a challenge etc etc''

lol - we're all just pissing in the wind! haha.

DevDaniels1 · 2019-10-05T06:24:57+00:00

I sorta think noting it as an observation; rather than an expectation works well. If you're (kinda) flirting with her (over time) so she kinda gets that you probably do find her attractive; when the situation calls for it a one off moment of definite intensity really adds to it.

I often do the negging sorta flirting, making it obvious I'm totally joking in what I'm saying. But then once (and only ever once) drop in a comment like "Yeah, but you are incredibly hot" or "you are genuinely the most attractive person I know." Then leave it and return to your usual style of flirting with them.

It works, as if they like you in return (they do, or they'd not be happy with the flirty interactions in the first place) they'll be looking for that validation again in the future. But don't give it unless things escalate. It puts the ball in their court to allow escalation, but also allows things to remain the same if they are unsure.

Title	Why does telling a girl you like her always backfire?
Author	bayfarm
Upvotes	1
Comments	8
Date	October 5, 2019 2:33 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ddhf0r/why_does_telling_a_girl_you_like_her_always/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-does-telling-a-girl-you-like-her-always.1480409 https://theredarchive.com/post/1480409

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