I fucked up by saying “i love you” on the 3rd date after the 1st kiss. Albeit it wasnt meant serious and was delivered in a playful tone. It most likely still was perceived seriously. Would like to know if its still salvageable and why just saying these words is enough to completely ruin attraction

Responsible-Evidence · 2020-01-23T14:00:06+00:00

Think your text is decent and your best play. Acknowledge it was cringey but also don’t seem to upset by it.. that you don’t care about embarrassing yourself. Don’t say it again tho. Joking or not

kepzzzz · 2020-01-23T14:24:20+00:00

She just said she didnt want to date, but she was obviously into you so you couldve still kept trying seeing her and being with her as fwb, and later she could change ideas.. Also why did you stay 2 months without talking to her? Now it could be hard to do something cus she could be seeing/talking to another guy.. Women got lots of options

lilac-hiraeth · 2020-01-23T15:36:41+00:00

I would just cut your losses here and move on. She may have kissed you without eye contact because she felt she wouldn’t be able to get out of it either way and wanted to get it over with, referencing that YOU took her hand out of her pocket to hold, it wasn’t mutual, she was just humouring you. I’ve been in that situation so that’s the first thing that came to mind, especially because she turned down your offer to drive her home and spend more alone time with you. She may have not been comfortable with you coming on so strongly.

I’ve also had a date tell me they loved me after a first kiss before parting ways, however it was the first date and didn’t sound playful, more aloof and accidental. I never saw them again, and told them something similar to what you received. Just let her be, if she was interested she would come to you, no way she missed your loud and clear signals.

scarrax · 2020-01-23T18:57:28+00:00

She probably kissed you because she wanted to at the time, but this was obviously before you said “I love you” to her. Either that or since it was the 3rd date she felt obligated to. Or maybe she just wasn’t thinking too much of it and said why not?

To be honest you probably did shoot yourself in the foot a bit. The first time you said it over Tinder you were clearly just demonstrating that you know a Farsi phrase and she probably thought it was cute you were trying to impress her with it. Since you already pulled that line once, pulling it a second time just makes it seem a bit gimmicky. In her mind it sort of set the stage that you would be saying that regularly from then there on. Not only does it make you seem like a one trick pony, but it could have come off as a bit like fetishizing her ethnicity.

Consider this: you are knowingly saying something that you do understand it’s meaning, even if it’s a different language. She probably did take it seriously and you probably did come off as a Ted.

Is it salvageable? Probably not at this point. Cut your losses, move on and learn your lesson. If you want to text her to apologize it might work but don’t expect it to. If you do I would think of a better apology than blaming it on a TV show

Saladin19 · 2020-01-23T19:25:11+00:00

So surprised the mods haven't got to this one wtf

stahhluzdveller · 2020-01-24T05:24:24+00:00

Almost exactly the same thing happened to me

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