Discussion: What Value Does A Men Really Have To A Woman Aside From Sex?

SIIa109 · 2020-05-05T11:06:33+00:00

I built the house (actually) ....she made it a home.

SIIa109 · 2020-05-05T19:58:42+00:00

Yes - foundation to finish painting.

All labor and material.

Wulfric78 · 2020-05-06T19:49:11+00:00

Being a provider but not just in the material way. A feeling of mental stability. Safety.

TheFeistyNun · 2020-05-06T22:41:24+00:00

Dear OP, I’m a female and will try to answer as honest as possible.

First of all, I’m looking for a connection with people. In all kinds of ways - family, friends, even professional. But also romantically. As I’m cishet, i turn to men for that desire. For me, this translates into feeling like you’re on the same wavelength with someone. Like finding a kindred spirit. Whether that is long (relationship) or short (ONS) term (although for the record I don’t do that anymore). I found it can hardly be faked, because it depends on a multitude of things, from the way he talks and moves to what he says to how he smells to the values he carries out by acting on them. It is in a shared sense of humor, a similar way of approaching problems, but also just in sitting besides each other and feeling sucked towards one another for no apparent reason.

Second of all, like any other human being, I crave human touch. Not necessarily sexually - sometimes even very much not so. In my life and the society I live in, this is not automatically incorporated in daily life, which means that also here, men come in. This is difficult for me right now, because I’m not in the mental place to date, but still crave that touch. Just like it’s nice to be complimented and feel ‘seen’, but not enough of a reason to start dating if you’re not ready.

Furthermore, a man (if in a relationship) will form a bond with me that I very much like to have. I have little to no contact with my family and practically all my friends have their partners and/or children. It’s great to have your one favorite person that you can always text if you want to share a joke or ask for an opinion. That one person that does not take two days to answer because ‘sorry it was crazy with the kids’. That one person who is your default sidekick for movies, road trips and holidays.

Also, if I’m in a relationship and we both do the work, the bond between us will grow to be much more than just 1+1. This is an amazing feeling. Knowing there’s someone you can trust before all. Knowing someone will have your back if needed, call that ambulance if needed, protect you if needed (which, in my book, is mutual and not only physically).

Superficially speaking, one of the wrong reasons men used to be of worth to me was because they validated me as a person by admiring me. This was exhilarating, but not healthy. I make a serious effort to avoid behavior that solicits for that kind of validation. It’s not respectful to them and not healthy for me.

I personally see no materialistic value in being with a guy (or maybe just if he moves in after a while and shares the rent/mortgage, but that advantage is too minor to play a role in deciding on whether or not to move in). I would be uncomfortable to be supported in any kind of unbalanced way (money, labor, etc).

(Edited to elaborate further on one part.)

magnetradio · 2020-05-05T11:44:25+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Discussion: What Value Does A Men Really Have To A Woman Aside From Sex?
Author	magnetradio
Upvotes	0
Comments	10
Date	May 5, 2020 11:03 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gdvq80/discussion_what_value_does_a_men_really_have_to_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/discussion-what-value-does-a-men-really-have-to-a.1495104 https://theredarchive.com/post/1495104

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