How do I let a woman know I want to have sex with her? FWB

JuneBerryBug94 · 2020-07-19T05:36:50+00:00

You would ask her if she wants to be friends with benefits and not allow her to think you’re interested in a relationship

NCreature · 2020-07-19T07:03:39+00:00

It's much easier if you're already having sex with her first. Otherwise you're kind of stuck in her frame. Or you present yourself as someone who has a lot of options from the get-go.

But part of the problem that's screwing you up is you are assuming the girl doesn't want to be your FWB. That's probably not wise. You should act in accordance with your desires and then let the woman respond to that, not try to outsmart her or think you can intuit how things are likely to play out. You honestly don't know how the girl sees you, and you never know she might not mind being casual with you either. I'd be willing to wager that most women you talk to always talk about how they hate player guys and hate guys who are just all about sex and you've fallen for that ruse and have a belief that women never want to be someone's FWB, which of course isn't true or the term wouldn't exist. It is true that most women would prefer a relationship to being your FWB, but a preference for one thing doesn't mean the absolute exclusion of the other. If the chick really digs you she might take what she can get. You have to consider it from all angles and sell the one that gets you where you want to be easiest. Remember always push the rock downhill in the direction it wants to go to get where you want, not uphill in the direction you're trying to make it go.

You can also counter that frame with one of your own that insinuates "I'm very attracted to you, lets see how things play out over time." Now the expectation is that no matter what you do, sleep together or not, the situation for something long term has to work itself out down the road. This keeps you honest up front and keeps you from lying or trying to manipulate the girl.

Remember the number one consideration (and I try to impress upon this) is "what's in it for the girl?" If you can figure out what the girl stands to gain from your proposed arrangement (not just what you get out of it), then it really doesn't matter because people will move toward things they see as favorable and you can sell that angle instead of the more self-centered "I just wanna fuck you," angle, which let's face it, if the situation was reversed and the girl was saying "I don't wanna date you, I just want your money" you probably wouldn't go for either.

2020-07-19T05:52:44+00:00

You just make a move.

-Magic-M · 2020-07-19T09:56:28+00:00

if your at a party then isolate her first kiss her. next get her logistics like where she lives how far is it what she is doing after the party what does she needs to do next morning. if the logistics are not good like if she needs to work the next day grab her number but if the are good start pulling. how do you pull, start moving first outside that’s a small complains from her next say to her that the drinks are expensive and that you got drinks at your place not far and after taking a couple shots that you would come back to the party. she goes with you or throws up a problem you need to solve like i can’t leavemy friend. and if you handeld that situation you take her to your place fuck and done

Burner0700 · 2020-07-19T05:52:57+00:00

never worked for me

Queasy-Cherry-11 · 2020-07-20T06:48:23+00:00

Invite her to hang out with you at night time at her place or your place. She'll know why you are asking.

Then once you are there, go for a kiss after getting physical or verbal consent (so either it's really obvious she wants you to kiss her, or if you can't tell, just ask. If you ask confidently it will never come across as cringe, and can actually be extremely sexy ('oooh he cares about my desires and pleasure, dayum').

I would avoid outright asking for sex in those terms. "Do you want to come to bed with me" is just as explicit without coming across as gross or low effort.

It's also good to mention at some point before you have sex whether a relationship is something you want (in general terms, not referring specifically to her) so she knows to expect that it's just going to be a casual thing. You don't HAVE to, but it's considerably less douchey if you do.

letsgetrandy · 2020-07-19T06:17:33+00:00

Escalate. Touch then kiss the grope then start removing her clothes.

myachybreakyheart1 · 2020-07-19T06:14:43+00:00

Although I consider myself to be good with ladies in some aspects, I struggle with this too.

The closest I’ve felt I’ve come to this involved me telling her “I don’t feel comfortable putting a label on what we have.” It was on the phone. I remember almost cringing when I said it and, honestly, I can’t even remember which girl I said it to and it was only a couple of months ago. Surprisingly, she was cool with it.

I’m in another similar situation right now, actually. I really like her but she’s going through stuff so she’s prefer not to get into anything heavy. At the same time, she’s the kind of girl who can’t separate sex from her emotions. So she’d prefer to not do anything. I’m not sure hot to navigate that. :/

colorado300 · 2020-07-19T07:02:30+00:00

Escalation goes hand in hand with getting to the place youll ideally have sex in.

If you get her say, to tour house under any excuse (to watch a movie, play nintendo idfk) there will be context tonmake things happen. So making a move wont be as cringey as doing it outside say, in a bar or the street. If you strike out, dont feel hurt and do not make it weird and try again later, or dont. Having a good time is the real goal.

Title	How do I let a woman know I want to have sex with her? FWB
Author	Burner0700
Upvotes	10
Comments	19
Date	July 19, 2020 5:29 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/htvdwr/how_do_i_let_a_woman_know_i_want_to_have_sex_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-let-a-woman-know-i-want-to-have-sex-with.1498936 https://theredarchive.com/post/1498936

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