been taking a lot of Ls in dating scene, since divorce

ProphecyHoarder · 2020-07-23T12:45:49+00:00

My suggestion would be to not do the dinner date thing. How is that supposed to translate into intimacy and sex? Go for drinks, sit next to them somewhere, then you can actually focus on getting somewhere with them.

meet girl off an app. have dinner together somewhere nice. she says it was really fun to finally meet. we chat a little bit, flirt a bit. it goes on for a week. then she blocks me, ghosts me, or unfriends me.

I think this issue is she perceives you as weak, you probably did nothing to generate attraction or sexual tension, then you are messaging backwards and forwards for too long. When you message, its to meet up, if she did like you, you talked her right out of it.

some chats are fun.. then it just dies.

Should rarely happen if you are moving chats offline as quickly as possible and meeting soon after. Sometimes it can be hard to get a chat going, but if you get it going and it is dying, you are again probably being weak and indecisive.

also quite a bit of.. yes lets meet!! (then i pick a day).. and then they are busy or we never end up meeting as schedules dont match

Yea this one happens with online dating. It's normally a sign of low attraction, if you were Brad Pitt they could be free any day. When they tell you too busy you give them the "let me know when your schedule is more open", usually you'll never hear from them again, but every now and again one was genuinely busy and they'll reach out.

the person I'd really like to date is my ex again.

This is purely because of scarcity. You like what it easy and known. If women were throwing themselves at you, you probably wouldn't even give her a second thought. It's not what you actually want, its just what you are willing to accept. If you try to go back to her its purely because you admit defeat in dating, not because she is actually somebody worth your time.

2020-07-23T11:06:54+00:00

Honestly idk if my advice can help, but after reading that I can say we'll done for handling the divorce professionally, you just gotta build yourself up man

2020-07-23T14:42:43+00:00

Check out semen retention Reddit, thank me later

Kenic_In_MD · 2020-07-23T15:32:16+00:00

The only L's you took were Learning experiences. You either win or you learn in the dating game. Looks like you're doing the right thing getting back at there and talking to women. Keep it up, you'll find a winner eventually.

About your ex wife

Leave that alone, that relationship is in the past, it's time to move on.

unfortunately the only time I've been successful with women is when they fall for me by the 3rd date

That's an average for most men so I wouldn't beat yourself up over that one. I'm also a naturally slow mover so i know how that progress feels.

With COVID and the craziness going on nowadays you should indeed focus on yourself and not rush things. Once this COVID stuff starts easing up then you can really get back into it. Until then we are all a bit handicapped by a situation outside of our control. Continue course.

caesarfecit · 2020-07-23T15:54:34+00:00

I've been finding myself in a similar situation OP, where I'm just getting myself out of a serious funk and while I've had plenty of opportunities with some legit gorgeous women, well...

Lately I've had more girls cry on my shoulder than kiss me. And it's not like I'm some total nice guy virgin either. Once upon a time, I knew what I was doing more or less with women.

Anyway, yesterday I had a brain wave.

My problem, and maybe it's yours too OP was that I was taking these women far too seriously. I cared too much, even if I didn't explicitly verbalize it or act like a big softy.

Ultimately, women aren't attracted to a guy who wears their heart on their sleeve, who cares too much, and takes them too seriously. It's like a girl who makes themselves a sure thing. It's far too easy.

That's why women respond to confidence, even when it crosses over into arrogance and narcissism. It's like a girl who plays hard to get, they can't help but chase. The only caveat is not to overplay your hand.

Just have fun with them, don't chase, and don't take them too seriously. That's probably why you're getting no results on Tinder, and only lukewarm responses on the marriage app.

2020-07-23T17:37:48+00:00

GET OFF TINDER

quinnmcd · 2020-07-23T17:49:04+00:00

This post had to be taken down because it appears to be focused on a specific situation or person. While Field Reports deal with specific situations and people, remember that the focus is different:

A field report explains a lesson learned or demonstrates a Seduction concept.
If the point of this post is asking how to get that specific girl, it belongs in AskSeddit.

No worries though! Though the thread has been taken down, any conversations you have started here can still continue, and if you want to PM a mod to get their opinion on this thread, feel free to do so and they will still be able to weigh in.

For next time, remember that posts about a specific situational advice with a specific person are fine as field should be directed to Ask Seddit (/r/askseddit), not to be confused with Ask Reddit.

Title	been taking a lot of Ls in dating scene, since divorce
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	7
Date	July 23, 2020 10:59 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/hwdntr/been_taking_a_lot_of_ls_in_dating_scene_since/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/been-taking-a-lot-of-ls-in-dating-scene-since.1499193 https://theredarchive.com/post/1499193

Comments