Men don't ask me questions on dates

501 points•296 comments•submitted by abandoned_faces to r/datingoverthirty

I want to preface this post with saying that I love men and have no ill-feelings towards the gender. I am open to different kinds of men and swipe based on their bios rather than their looks, so I'm not only swiping on douchey "hot guys". My age bracket is 31-41 but the guys I've gone out with have been between 36-38.

I've noticed a trend on 4-5 dates I've been on since being single that men don't ask me questions about myself. I'm very friendly, outgoing, and open, but I don't talk about myself unless asked a question and I rarely tell stories unless it's relevant and I'm comfortable emotionally. I'm a decent conversationalist and listener and I ask them questions. They answer long-windedly and don't ask me anything in response, and when they do ask the token 1 or 2 for the date they don't seem interested in what I have to say or ask any follow up. I've had a couple men gaga over me but they've made no effort to get to know me on our dates. The comments are always about my looks. I appreciate the compliments but they feel empty without them wanting to get to know me as a person. ] I don't feel valued except for my looks and I immediately lose interest. Is it too much to ask to expect people to reciprocate questions? I'm feeling so frustrated and demoralized. Please be nice in your responses. Thank you.