She is 23 and I am 42.

She is already within my circle of influence so this is not a person I picked up cold.

I was listening to Marni on YouTube and she did a vid on older guys picking up younger girls. Marni went over some of the shit testing and addressed the deadly comment that the girls always say...”you’re old enough to be my dad” or “but you’re so much older”.

Marni addressed this by suggesting that older guys rebuttal this with, “I don’t think it’s about age at all. I think the real question is - are you mature enough to hang out with me.”

I’ve added - “I mean, I think you are but TBD”

So the 23 year old and I are talking and I look at her and say “what?” She said “what?” And I said “nothing (laughing) you’re just looking at me weird and I can’t tell if you want to kiss me or punch me. (Laugh) you’re not allowed to do either one”. So she turns bright red and I keep talking about work blah blah blah.

Note: the “what” patter is a spin on an old Mystery patter.

Fast forward two weeks. (This was yesterday). We are on the phone and I said “ugh enough with this work talk. I have a headache. Tell me a secret. Not some bullshit secret like a legit secret”. She didn’t have a secret to tell. They mostly don’t at this point. So she’s fumbling around trying to figure out what to say and I say, “ok tell me what happened in your last dream. What is crazy? I bet you were walking around with marshmallow shoes being followed by a stray Unicorn named Jessica. OMG is Jessica a secret lover? Oh shit, things are getting juicy! Tell me about this juicy dream.”

Blah blah she laughs and can’t think of a dream. They never can and if they do it’s not as entertaining as my assumption of their Jessica dream. So.... she said (and they always ask because they want to deflect from them) “Tell me about your last dream”

Boom... so I get more serious and I said, “_______ (enter name) that is a very dangerous question. I’m not sure you really want to hear it. I’m not sure you’re ready to know. Let’s just say that it was extremely interesting with an extremely interesting person. We will just leave it at that.”

Awkward pause... pause for dramatic impact

She’s is thinking and is obv putting 2 and 2 together.

I say, “look. I know you already know. Do you just want me to say it so you can hear it and boost your ego”. You have to say it funny and joking with a hint of seriousness.

Then I said, “———- you know I’m totally crushing on you. We can just make that one of our secrets since you didn’t have a secret when I asked earlier”. Seeee what I did there?

So I say, “oh shit I got another call I’m late for. Guess we will have to pick this up next time”

She said “OMG you’re just going to leave it like that?

Me. “Hahaha yup”

She then sends a text telling me that her head is going a million miles a minute and has a ton of questions.

I called her back an hour later. We talked about it but not too much. I kept it light and cool. Occasionally we meet on Friday at Starbucks and sit in the car and talk about work.

So I say on the phone “do you want to see me on Friday?”

She said “yes “

I said “great. But no work talk. That’s boring”

She said “we can meet at Starbucks but you know we can’t go inside. Or we can meet at my house”

Boom

  1. I already know this girl and talk to her but not really at a friend level.

  2. Pulled and old mystery angle out

  3. Pulled the Marni older guy line out and planted a seed for later.

  4. Asked her questions that I knew would box her in.

  5. She invited me over to her house. I wasn’t expecting that if I’m being honest.