Hi everybody, I'll say it in advance: I'm italian and the English grammar is something I suck at.

In the last few years I've been lurking around TRP subreddit. For what I understand of your jargon I guess you can define me as a classic beta who's now a mgtow.

I had a couple of long term relationships in my 20s and I've seen it all. I've gone through every kind of bullshit every beta has to suffer, I've become a cheater myself, now I'm just a bitter 30yo, single, just came out of a THREE YEARS dry spell.

So in the last few months I've started to date an old fwb just for sex, but I think I can't do it anymore. This girl has a lot of plates with whom she regulary hangs out (and fuck).

Why I can't just fuck this girl and enjoy it? When we fuck (and I don't do it anymore btw) all I can think of is how thirsty she is for some cock and how easy is for her to get some, and that just make my jealous. On top of that my cock is subpar and that just make things worse (but that's another story). I came to the point of hating women because all they have to do for getting laid is to spread their legs. But this hate is totally unjustified, I mean, she's there and she want to fuck me, I want to fuck her, what the fuck is my problem?

How can I rationalize and let go the hate/envy I hold towards women? What am I missing here? How can you fuck a girl knowing she fucked another dude the day before and she's going to fuck another one tomorrow?