Don't want to vilify anyone, but I used to have the dress sense of a foreign student. And not the rich ones.

This is the kind of bullshit I used to rock: hoodies that went one too many washes, bland blue corduroys, and shoes from fucking Target.

For the longest time it bugged me when either 4 out of 10s, (and) or girls with horiffically low self esteem, would only ever come on over and talk to me.

I always wondered what the fuck was up with that. I was slim but extremely athletic. I only JUST realised how darn above average I looked (and we can all look), if I actually woke up and smelt the coffee.

So I decided one day. "FUCK.THIS.SHIT". NO MORE!

We all underestimate clothing. No matter how cool you are on the inside, if your dressing like a pre-puberty Michael Cera, your going to be treated like that. I started to dress to reflect my personality. So people could see from the outside what I was on the inside. This is important, people can't mindread. We often judge a book by its cover. Nobody will walk over, and bother to get to know you ( and your fun personality), if you don't look like fun to begin with.

So I started dressing like Kevin Hart. Airforce ones, leather jackets, blacks pants and skinny neck chains.

Before you know it, the opposite crowd started approaching me. No more approaches from girls who truly can't seem to get any attention from the guys their interested in, which happen to be way out of their league.

I sat down one day eating lunch on my own, and this dime piece started chatting me up. She no joke started to fumble her words. I never experienced that. It was a major milestone and a huge powershift/ role reverse. It's usually guys who do this (when they are talking to a hot girl). For the first time, I noticed when I put a girl in this frame of mind, the conversation became easy for me. All the pressure was on her, and I had nothing to prove and nothing to lose. I also noticed myself smiling unconsciously during the conversation. Another milesone. I swear it wasnt on purpose, but it was the exact way most girls smile at guys . Its a smile they give you when you are coming from a place of weakness. I've experienced it a thousand times before. Not this time though. Not anymore.

SO MORAL OF THE STORY: It took til 22 to fucking realise one thing: that we can all be above average attractive on our good days. 90 percent of that is a mental thing. 90 percent of that actually came that day from not looking at girls as I walked along the pavement. Cut out that subtle glance shit, I've seen many many guys do it. It only used to reinforce to me this high anxiety and clouded my thoughts and put me in a weaker and more scared state of mind. Scared of what you say? Scared of lust and having no ability to talk to a girl without her giggling on the inside at how subtly uncomfortable I look just talking to her. Girls know when your starstruck. I never used to put care into it, but now I'm self conscious of it. I didnt used to realise just how far backwards it put me before I eve said a word.