Some time ago, I wrote a post on this sub in which I expressed my intention to begin an exercise in which I went out and approached women each weekend until I had approached 100, and asked whether it would be acceptable for me to post nightly accounts of such ventures on this sub in order to keep motivated (SelectSelect75 (u/SelectSelect75) - Reddit). All of the commenters expressed that this would be acceptable, so until someone else tells me otherwise, I will continue doing this. The following post comprises account #10.

Context and goals:

As this exercise continues and I learn new things, my goals are starting to become more refined – especially in light of nights #5 and #9. While it’s good to learn, as a beginner, that one-night stands/casual sex are, in fact, attainable, and I’ll take them when and if I can get them; ultimately, they’re not anything to shout about, and they’re also not what I’m looking for. What I really want out of this is to get dates, and, ultimately, a relationship. And that still seems pretty far out of the ballpark at present.

Tonight’s session was hosted by the same Meetup that hosted the speed-dating session. It was at yet another bar – a 1920s/prohibition-themed one – I’d been to before. I hoped to meet a guy whom I’d been chatting with in person here on r/seduction and who’d said that he would be there, and who could potentially become a wingman, since he’d said he’d been trying this exercise out himself.

Account:

Tonight… did not go well.

When I arrived at the bar, one of the organizers told me that several of the women at the speed dating session had reported me for sitting too close to them than was comfortable in light of covid, and that I wouldn’t be allowed to attend subsequent sessions if I didn’t keep my distance tonight. (Please understand; I’d had my own reservations about doing this – the only reason I’d done it is because all of the material I’ve read has stressed that kino escalation is important). This immediately made me feel both horribly guilty (I had no idea I’d made anyone uncomfortable), and terrified of interacting with any of the women at that session lest I unwittingly overstep my boundaries again. I did meet the other guy, but he said that he wasn’t all that interested in cold approach at bars given his low success rate, whereas almost all of my own retinue consists of cold approach at bars, so it didn’t look like we’d be compatible as wings. I was no longer comfortable approaching any of the women there, so I elected to leave for another nearby bar almost as soon as I’d arrived, but I got the guy’s number and asked him if he’d like to join me later on. I had this idea about watching him do an approach and then trying to give him feedback, whereafter he could watch me do an approach and then try to give me feedback.

At the other bar, though, things went from bad to worse, as I proceeded to become embroiled in my first… potentially gnarly incident. There was this group of five extremely attractive girls there – easily the most attractive I’ve yet seen during this exercise. I approached – a set of five really attractive girls being easily the hardest approach I’ve done during this exercise – and they’d admitted in. Things went fine at first, though I received mixed messages from them; one minute they were flirting with me, the next they were claiming to have boyfriends, the next they were flirting with me again. All five were drunk out of their everloving wits.

They invited me to walk to a nearby park to smoke some weed with them. I agreed on the accompanying part, though I declined the weed. The whole journey, I was attempting to stop them from falling down escalators and walking into traffic in a drunken haze. The conversation continued to go fine… until the five announced that they were going to drive somewhere. This would not do. The five were drunk as sailors and high as kites, and they were right in the middle of a crowded city center. I could not, in good conscience, just stand by and allow them to do this. It wasn’t just their own welfare I had to consider, it was that of pedestrians. I tried to talk them out of it, and get them to take an Uber, but this resulted in them becoming defensive and insisting they were fine (trust me; they weren’t). When I continued to press it, they started telling bystanders – including bouncers of nearby bars – that I was harassing them, and I was forced to flee the scene, fearing I was going to get into an altercation. After I’d left, I felt I had no other means of recourse left other than to call the police on them, so I did. It was still quite early, but understandably, I was in no mood to continue after all of this, so I went home. I was terrified either that they’d tell the police I was harassing them, or that they’d drive and get into an accident which I’d somehow be implicated in.

Reflection:

Well, if last week shot my confidence into the stratosphere, this week has shot it to shit. I am now both afraid to approach – and certainly to do any escalation beyond a handshake unless they explicitly touch me first – and afraid to hang around with drunk people. There were so many ways this could have gone wrong – what if I’d gotten punched? What if I’d had a momentary but huge lapse of judgement and gotten into a car with them myself? If have no idea if calling the police on them was the right thing to do, but I couldn’t think of what else to do at the time. I have no experience with situations like this.

I’m not going to give up, but all the same, folks, I might need to take a week off to recuperate after this. I’d really prefer for my next night after this to be in as low a pressure environment as possible – at a familiar bar during a familiar Meetup.

Tally:

Primary goal: 100 approaches.

Secondary goal: 1 date.

Tertiary goal: 100 immediate rejections.

Approaches: 41.

Immediate rejections: 13.

Conversations: 21.

Phone number rejections: 14.

Phone numbers: 4.

Dates: 0.

Sex: 2.

Relationships: 0.

Breakups: 0.