I'm 26 years old man living outside of Ukraine and I'm terrified that Ukrainian government might want to get me back. Ukraine recently lowered their conscription age from 27 to 25. President Zelenskyy says he needs more people and their government work on a new law that will prevent all men living abroad who don't have military ID to get new passports when the old ones expire.

I was there when the war started. I spent several months in Ukraine and was able to legally leave the country. It was very difficult and it took me a lot of efforts and stress. In order to leave I had to get a permit from the military. I visited the conscription office several times and some of them were so stressful that I vomited on my way home. I was lied by military several times that my documents are being processed, several times they held me there for hours and threatened to put me on a bus and send to frontlines. Only when I got two lawyers I was able to get the permit to leave Ukraine.

My passport expires in 2026. With the new changes to the law I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I'm very thankful to everyone that understands that not all men are capable of war duties. However, I also see comments saying "all men should go and fight, etc., etc.". Meanwhile, Ukrainian politicians kids are citizens of other countries and they most definitely will not go to war.

Now about all men should go fight. I am a man and I am miserable. Since 2022 I can no longer sleep normally. I got lots of new grey hairs, my energy levels are terrible. Whenever I go to sleep or see the news on Telegram I'm shaking, my blood pressure goes over the roof, heart beats like crazy and I'm all sweating. The news sometimes can be terrifying. I saw people being dragged on the street, being beaten in the conscription offices, some of them died. I cry every time I see it.

I'm scared. I'm scared to the point that sometimes I think it's easier to end everything than live like this. If I manage to fall asleep, I will wake up in a few hours all sweaty seeing the same nightmare - "I'm there and I can no longer leave the country.". Since 2022 I also developed some stomach issues and now whenever I'm anxious I have some pain here and there.

For all of you saying "I see Ukrainian men in my country. Why they won't go and fight for Ukraine?". Because we are F scared. I work 2 jobs, I have a degree, I pay taxes and I never ever broke any laws. I'm trying to be a good citizen. Not all men are build for war. This is so crazy to realize that in 2024, men are still seen as an expendable resource, not as human beings.

Another argument I saw on the Internet is saying "if you don't want to fight - they will give you another role...". Let me tell you something... you can never be sure about it. I lost my best friend in this war. He died in 2.5 months after his conscription. The last time I spoke to him he told me there are no rules and people are being send to die randomly and without knowing where they're going. As I said before, I was lied multiple times at the military conscription office and I had to work with several layers to get the documents. I'd rather pay them huge taxes or fees working 2, 3,4 jobs if only this was an option...

Anyway, I just wanted to share my story. I very much wish this would change and we all leave in peace. I also dream about adopting a cat, but I'm not sure what will be with me tomorrow.