Passive aggressive STBX

upvotersfortruth · 2024-04-17T00:27:11+00:00

Why would you need to move out if they're selling the place? Are you getting a sweetheart deal on the rent now? Some buyers want tenants, others don't. This seems like a plot to separate you from your kids. I'd be surprised if she hadn't told her parents. Be careful.

dday_throwaway3 · 2024-04-15T16:57:43+00:00

Her in-laws don't need to know a damn thing about your impending divorce before it's finalized. It's none of their business unless you break the lease. They're preoccupied with their own problems.

Your kids probably already know what's going on. So keeping them in the dark isn't doing you any favors. Kids are smarter than you give them credit for.

In terms of her parenting your kids, they're old enough to be home without an adult. While you may get some mileage out of it with her, it's not likely to be a compelling win for you with a GAL or judge. So use it as leverage, but it's not a "sure thing". Plenty of shift workers have 50% parenting time with their kids. My ex is one of them. So are many other pilots, firefighters, clinicians, etc. Custody is awarded to the parent, not the conditions. If I were in your position, I'd use her work schedule as a way to get final decision making for healthcare and education since you'll be doing the heavy lifting.

In terms of finalizing the marriage settlement agreement and parenting plan, the fastest way to do that is to set a trial date. Six to eight weeks before the trial date, you schedule mediation. That's the only way you'll get her full attention and have a reasonable chance of being rational. Otherwise it's a long walk up the courthouse steps where a stranger in robes is going to make life-altering decisions on her behalf. So even if you don't make a deal in mediation, you can expect an 11th hour deal outside the courtroom.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2024-04-15T15:52:24+00:00

File and have your lawyer draw up a separation agreement. You’ll want 50/50 custody obviously. Your lawyer should be able to quickly calculate if you’ll be on the hook for child & spousal support so you can have a good idea for budgeting purposes.

If you’re waiting for her to drive this fairly you’re going to be in for a surprise. Of course she’s making her own plans and you’re going to find yourself scrambling to respond to her moves instead of dictating your own. Typically anything she offers will be really unfavorable for you which is how these things spiral out of control so quickly.

If the rental is going to get listed for sale you are now under the gun to get separate living arrangements set up.

Character_Let_3982 · 2024-04-15T17:41:47+00:00

Cooperation during a divorce? Good luck.

Divorce is ridiculous. And we live in ridiculous times.

A guy is still expected to take a knee while proposing. And when he doesn't fulfill another perfectly capable human being, it's assumed he did "something" to cause her to be unhappy. The lack of cooperation during divorce is born here. It's irrational.

Title	Passive aggressive STBX
Author	Competitive-Donut790
Upvotes	6
Comments	4
Date	April 15, 2024 3:33 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1c4p6s3/passive_aggressive_stbx/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/passive-aggressive-stbx.1515196 https://theredarchive.com/post/1515196

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