So before I say what this exercise is, I’m gonna explain why it works, and that goes a little something like this:

Women LOVE men who are confident and assertive.

Confident men radiate a positive energy which magnetises people (women especially) to them. Something about their auras signifies to the world that they’re on top of their game, can be relied on, and that everything they have to say should be taken seriously.

Loosely put; confidence is one of, if not the best possible way to draw high quality women into your life. It shows that you both trust and have mastery over yourself and believe in your ability to step up to the plate when the chips are down. And trust me, that’s something women really need to know about your black ass.

Imagine if you went to a doctor with stage four lung cancer and he said:

“Yeah, I might be able to help you, because I’m an OK surgeon, I guess. But really and truly I probably won’t be able to because I’m actually not that great.”

How happy would you be with the idea of having him help you battle your disease? You wouldn’t be, would you? And rightfully so, because which jackass is gonna feel confident putting their life in the hands of a numbskull who freely admits to not knowing what he’s doing. But then again, what if he said:

“Don’t worry, you’re in the best possible hands and I promise you we’ll beat this thing. I’m an excellent surgeon and I know exactly what to do to crush this cancer. You’re gonna be fine.

I’m guessing that’d be exactly what your black ass wants to hear, right? Well that’s how we subconsciously feel about confident people because deep down the vast majority of us are scared and being around nervous and awkward people makes our own insecurities worse. Whether we know it or not, we resonate with people who inspire us with new ways of being, not those whose insecurities painfully remind us of our own.

Now you might think that you’re just not confident and never have been but that’s not true. It’s not true at all, because:

When you were a baby, you were supremely confident.

All babies are born with the confidence of James Bond mixed with Conor McGregor and a splash of Muhammad Ali thrown in for good measure.

Have you ever seen one that was insecure about screaming its head off to let you know it was hungry, or nervous about staring strangers dead in the eyes for 3 straight minutes?

Yeah me neither. How many times have you seen really small kids yell at their parents and say:

“Mommy! Mommy! Watch me dive into the pool!” or “Listen to me sing! I’m really good at singing!”

Babies (and really small children) are extremely comfortable with being the centres of attention in a way that most adults just aren’t.

You were born with an innate level of self-worth. You just assumed you were valuable and worthy of love, respect, and other people’s time.

But as you grew up that innate belief was systematically stripped from you, probably by parents, grandparents, older siblings, teachers at school or maybe other kids.

While it was once endearing for you to mispronounce “Daddy” as “Baddy” or run around the house wearing naught but your own pee pee stained underwear around your face, at some point those things weren’t cute anymore. As you got older, you slowly realised that the love of the people you looked up to wasn’t actually inherent but hugely conditional.

If you weren’t getting good enough grades at school, acting in an appropriately restrained way in public, or showing the correct level of humility about your self-worth, then that love was stripped away. The people you adored wouldn’t hug, play with, be nice to, or even just say you were a good kid. What they would do is judge, isolate and punish us in hugely negative ways that crushed you.

We then started to hear things like:

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Don’t get too big for your boots!”

“Who do you think you are?”

“Why can’t you be more like your cousin Amanda?”

You were told all the above and others way more often than any sort of praise, and like I said before, it systematically crushed your self-confidence. FYI, it’s believed that in order for a kid to grow up with healthy levels of self-esteem they need to hear 8 compliments from their adult caregivers for every 1 negative comment or insult, but how many of us really got that?

Did you?

Fast forward 25 years and you’re trying to find the balls to talk to that hot blonde in the tight yoga pants at the bar, or black woman with the cute Afro at the college canteen, but guess what?

You just can’t do it.

Something’s pulling you back. Your mind and body are racked with fear, and you just cannae actually find the will to get it done. But why would you? You’ve been conditioned to believe you’re not that great of a person, so why on earth would you think someone so beautiful and awesome would want to give you the time of day?

Want more free value on how to be the most confident version of yourself? Get my free ebook 5 Keys to Unstoppable Confidence from the link below.

The nurture your inner-child exercise

Like I said, I’m going to show you an exercise that will rebuild that shattered self-confidence and radiate more of the natural self-esteem you were born with. You might think it sounds like ‘woowoo, new age, hippy dippy bs’ but just try it for a moment and see how it fits. Just because you think something’s silly doesn’t mean it actually is, and even if it is, well you won’t lose anything by trying it, right? So with that in mind, here’s the exercise, you ready?

Here comes the pain

Close your eyes and in your mind’s eye, go back to the house you grew up in and find the childhood version of you. Take them by the hand and bring them to wherever you live today.

Show them all the cool stuff you now have that they couldn’t have dreamed of when you were them (games console with all the games you want, new technology, ability to stay up late, can eat whatever food you want, etc) and see how they almost have an orgasm at how great your life is compared to theirs. Let them know that all of this and more is waiting for them in their future.