Generally speaking women, at least in America, pretty much control every aspect of their husbands lives in terms of where they go, largely what they do or do not do. I do not know one married man who stands up to his wife in any meaningful way to express his emotional needs.

Women frequently complain that their husbands don’t satisfy their emotional needs, either, and that the burden of life has fallen to them to manage (true on the whole).

What I never understand with my married women friends - I’m an attorney and my two best friends are women I met in law school 15+ years ago, we talk daily - is how they deliberately try to keep up with the Jones’ as they say. Meaning, they sign their kids up for a million activities and other obligations and then complain that they, the women/wives/mothers, have no time for themselves. When I point out their 5 year old doesn’t need to play 2 sports a quarter or their daughter is fine with one dance team as opposed to 3, they lose. their. Shit. “Well everyone isn’t going to judge [my husband] they’re going to blame me for not being a good mother!” Well, I have never once heard a man or husband criticize some other woman/wife/mother for literally anything, other than abrasive behavior, regarding how many activities their children does or does not do or attend.

This causes a lot of friction.

  1. Wife feels unsupported by husband who has checked out because he feels like the kids are doing too much and everyone is stressed out for no reason. Husband starts ignoring the wife because she refuses to make the family obligations more reasonable due to pressure from other judgmental women.

  2. Husband feels unsupported/I respected for being ignored. Refuses to help organize the schedules but minimally will coordinate driving the kids to/fro.

But then…women will frequently say that their husbands’ sexual needs “are not my responsibility” despite knowing that men require physicality to feel loved and fulfilled, then act stunned that their husbands cheat on them. Friend of mine won’t even ask his wife for a handjob anymore because she loses her shit on him for asking for a 2 minute break in her day to jerk him off. Some women act like a quick handjob is a 3 hour long heavy physical labor.

So how do we reconcile this? Do women need to stop judging other women? Do American kids need a more relaxed schedule? Do husbands need to check back in to the craziness or just divorce? It seems like a self perpetuating cycle that leads me to DO NOT GET MARRIED.