Married 16yrs (both 39yo), together 17yrs, two teenagers.

Working on establishing open honest communication. Struggles include lying/avoidance with him, and aggression/disrespect with me. We have made some progress in getting to the bottom of our feelings and want to stop this cycle.

Goal is mutual honesty and respect, and genuine emotional intimacy.

Sex is great, but we do struggle with frequency. He prefers mostly 1-2 times a week, whereas I would be thrilled with daily. He does say that he would like be more of 2-4 times a week if we could break this cycle.

What is a casual way to bring up conversations that foster intimacy and trust without making it feel like a "Q&A" session or "looking for trouble"?

Thanks!