My STBX thought that because I make a bit more in my salary, I was obligated to pay alimony. WRONG! Guys, just because there’s some income disparity, it doesn’t mean alimony is automatically required. It was confirmed by a judge in court.

Alimony used to be common, because 1) traditionally, households featured a breadwinning husband. 2) many of these marriages endured for extended periods.  In modern days, alimony is no longer a given because both men and women are in the workplace. dual income households are common.

So don’t listen to the “general idea” of alimony. Exercise your critical thinking. If you are being asked for alimony, my first suggestion is: anything you can resolve with money, do it and end the case soon; if money is tight and you don’t think your STBX deserves it, know it’s not automatic and you don’t have to pay for it. Stay calm and negotiate.  It boils down to two things: It’s a matter of analyzing lifestyle and proving financial needs. If you are not a multi-millionaire,  save the financial analysis fees with the attorneys (most likely another $5000-$10000)  and do it yourself with tools like this. Unless there are some special circumstances like disabilities or chronic illnesses or special needs, it’s getting harder and harder for people to get alimony. So don’t freak out. Sit down and go through your financials first.

That said, don’t be stingy. If there are children involved, having a good relationship with the other parent will save you a lot of trouble in fighting about child custody or visitation rights. If there's no children involved, what's more important than your time and energy. Good luck!