Divorce and child custody

ChromeBadge · 2024-07-03T09:13:24+00:00

How does one explain that in the USA the entire system is rigged against men?

From no contact restraining orders, that literally only require a judge seeing an angry text. To father's having to pay for their x wives divorce costs and all court costs from child advocate's who hate men, to child protective services that are SURE it's the father in the wrong from the start.

TO JAIL AND PRISON SENTENCES BEING THE SOLUTION TO A FATHER BECOMING CHRONICALLY UNEMPLOYED DUE TO WAGE GARNISHMENT AND THE LOOMING THEAT OF JAIL TIME AND ABSENCE FROM WORK DUE TO COURT DATES AND THE SAME COURT'S ENFORCED POVERTY CAUSING MEN TO MISS WORK BECAUSE THEY CAN'T AFFORD TO GET TO WORK.

A system that takes 60% of your wages and still expects a man to figure it out when gasoline is $4 a gallon and work is 45 minutes away by car, car insurance that's a mandatory $100 a month, due to his credit rating, inflation eating away at 4%/year.

The system is intentionally separating father's from their children at every opportunity.

Current_Finding_4066 · 2024-07-03T09:36:01+00:00

Studies have already shown men do better as single parents than women do. That is a fact. Case closed!

I guess hoi polloi needs to accept this fact. The problem is that feminist are very busy painting men as sex predators, violent,... As long as this goes on....

I will give you an example. Someone I know had a poor mom figure, she simply was dysfunctional and not there as she should have been. His father is much better functioning, and he does live with him now. Yet, he has still internalized some of the women are wonderful crap. It is simply that if you are bombarded with a message, it can even override your personal experience and make you think that you are the outlier.

AmputatorBot · 2024-07-03T06:46:03+00:00

It looks like OP posted an AMP link. These should load faster, but AMP is controversial because of concerns over privacy and the Open Web.

Maybe check out the canonical page instead: https://www.hindustantimes.com/lifestyle/relationships/how-divorce-is-boosting-gender-equality-in-sweden-says-new-study-101719742884176.html

^{I'm a bot |}^{Why & About}^|^{Summon: u/AmputatorBot}

Low_Rich_5436 · 2024-07-03T16:44:18+00:00

Last sentence of the article: "And this is good news, not only for women who suddenly proclaim that “for the first time ever … ex-husbands are doing their fair share” but also for men who no longer have to deal with the pain associated with the feeling of losing their children after a separation."

Men losing their children is an afterthought of women doing laundry, which is obviously worse, apparently. It's insane how "gender aquality" is so entrenched as a right of women that even the people who do consider men's side of the issue can't bring themselves to weight it fairly. 🙄

And of course, taking time off work to be with your family is a punishment and working to feed your family is a privilege.

aigars2 · 2024-07-03T11:27:02+00:00

Sure they/we can. For me/us it was never a question. Bad parents and parenting wasn't and isn't gender related.

PancakeHuntress · 2024-07-04T04:56:23+00:00

I'm convinced that men don't actually read the article, they just read the headlines and post it, which is the laziness fucking thing possible. Because if you actually read it, you wouldn't be posting it.

From the article:

Ultimately, 50:50 residence requires fathers to take full care responsibility for the child half of the time — something few partnered fathers do.

Read that again. "Something that few partnered fathers do" because if given the choice, partnered fathers will gladly dump the caretaking on their partners. Now that they don't have the option of dumping it on their partners, they are forced, by law, to do 50% of the caregiving.

It turns out, there's no insurmountable obstacle preventing men from doing their fair share of childcare, it's just their own laziness and entitlement.

with mothers traditionally shouldering all the responsibility

Men routinely complain about how they don't get to see their kids after a divorce, as if this isn't performative bullshit. If men actually took care of their kids (something that few partnered fathers do - l love this phrase, by the way), they probably wouldn't have gotten divorced in the first place.

divorce has led to an increase in fathers’ share of days off work for care.

Gee, l can't imagine how this is? It couldn't possibly be because men can't continue to dump the caregiving on their partners, obligating the women (and just the women) to take time off work when the kids are sick, could it?

which the mother takes on the full administrative and mental workload and only delegates specific tasks for the father to fulfil. This is a dynamic that over time seems inevitable and impossible to break.

It certainly is a mystery that this dynamic seems inevitable and impossible to break. It couldn't possibly be because men benefit from this arrangement and have more leisure time than women. If l know women (and l think l do), they love nothing more than to come home after a long day at work to do hours of house chores. If she wants him to do something, she has to ask him. Otherwise, he'll continue to sit on the couch doing nothing.

The lesson is that men can and do look after children on their own.

No one ever said that men couldn't do their fair share of childcare. The problem is that they don't.

RockyMaiviaJnr · 2024-07-03T20:42:08+00:00

As an aside I’m not big fan of the 50:50 model. It’s based around what’s fair for the parents not what’s best for the child. I believe there’s research showing children spending 70/80% of time with one parent creates stability and the kids do better.

The problem is fairly assessing what’s best for the child, without bias.

I have seen data showing the following facts: - children of single fathers fare better than children of single mothers. - mothers are more likely than fathers to kill kids under 8 - children with single mothers far more likely to suffer abuse from a step parent than children of single fathers.

So if we value what’s best for children, based on data, then our default as a society should be that fathers get 70-80% of care. Unless it can be demonstrated in an individual case that the other way round is better.

I also believe this would lower divorce rates, which is also good for children

Title	Divorce and child custody
Author	Street_Conflict_9008
Upvotes	29
Comments	19
Date	July 3, 2024 6:45 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1du7vuj/divorce_and_child_custody/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/divorce-and-child-custody.1523104 https://theredarchive.com/post/1523104

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