I feel lost. I have been the "nice guy" for as long as I can remember, and it got everyone to step on me. The fact that this term is almost a slur online makes my blood boil, but that's a different issue. Anyways, my interactions with women were horrible 90% of the time and ended up in the wrong direction 100% of the time, including of course, women who acted all nice and claimed they're "empaths".

The problem is, I have to deal with this shit at work as well with an owner that "manages" her business by dumping her husband's money on it. She kept making my life miserable with text-book manipulation and entitlement that women love to do, till life itself became unbearable. I am working my ass off to be able to leave, but the economy and the slavery system I live in is just fucked up and delays the process.

I have already changed my personality completely and became manipulative myself and started to embrace all the things I've been called while actually trying to make sacrifices for others, so I become this proud, manipulative, selfish, apathetic version of myself for the last few months. It definitely reduced my internal suffering and feeling of guilt those fuckers made me feel for their own mistakes, but is it the way to go long term? at which point do I draw the line? I am losing all of my past empathetic self, and there is zero logical reason for me to go back because if I will be alone, isolated, and ridiculed anyways based on things that are not true about myself, then why not become those things and enjoy their benefits since I am already dealing with their negatives without actually being them (back then)?