TLDR: Trying to win approval from someone you really don’t care about is the height of neediness.

Congrats—you’ve matched with an absolute stunner online. She also seems intelligent, and appears to live an interesting lifestyle. After some brief chatting, you set up the date. This is the win you’ve been looking for.

When you meet her, you’re pleasantly surprised to see that she looks just as good in person as she does in the pictures. You’ve already planned the wedding in your head.

Your excitement quickly dissipates several minutes into your conversation.

She looks at the menu disapprovingly. When the waiter mentions they can’t make the drink she wants, she rolls her eyes and says, “Okaaaaay.”

She’s enthusiastic during the conversation, but mostly about hearing her own voice. When you get to finally say something, she lets out a fake, yet thunderous laughter. You’re starting to get uncomfortable.

However, she’s showing a high level of interest. She’s touching your hand lightly, flirting, and looking at you like she wants to continue the date back at your place.

And it does. The sex is mind-blowing. She’s the hottest woman you’ve hooked up with by far. And the most enthusiastic. However, afterwards you want to be left alone. Thankfully she leaves.

However, the next day, you text her. She’s annoying—maybe even a terrible person—but you can’t let her go. She’s the hottest woman that’s ever shown interest.

You set up a second date. It’s the same as the first. But yet, again, you both go back to your place and hook up. You feel empty afterward again.

A few days later, you text her. No response. You check her Instagram profile. Blocked!

What the fuck? You start spiraling in depression. Why did she ghost?! What did you do wrong??

Over the next few days, you mourn her. She was so hot, she was outgoing and talkative. She had so much potential!!

This story highlights what a lot of guys go through. Listen, I get it. As men, we’re very driven by looks. It’s very easy to overlook a woman’s personality or how well your personalities mesh.

But a lot of guys keep trying to make things work with women that they’re really don’t enjoy being around. But if she breaks contact or rejects him, she gets elevated in his mind.

Pay close attention how she makes you feel when she’s WITH YOU, not just when she’s not around. Men are programmed to get the girl, attract as many women as possible, don’t let any opportunities with attractive women slip.

Take a moment. Don’t try to win validation or approval with women you’re not enthusiastic about. It’s a needy behavior that is indicative of a scarcity mindset.

People are more intuitive than we realize. A woman will be able to tell in most instances if you’re really not into her. After the heightened emotions of sex or the excitement of meeting someone new for down, she’ll realize this and break things off.

Full article on topic: https://modating.substack.com/p/dont-force-something-that-isnt-there