I'm gonna make this as small a story as possible (and im gonna fail miserably. I'm 21, was a virgin until this year I started dating an 18 year old girl with more experience than me. I am and I only say this because it might be relevant, very good looking and she is just your average cute girl with a nice body, but I loved her because she pushed me to do better in life and she was really fun to hang out with, at first. I come from a family with more money, I am more intelligent, more well spoken, the works. Basically she takes my virginity but the next couple months I struggle with anxiety and can't keep or sometimes get a hard on. Maybe 3 months pass and the problem starts going away. except whenever it does and we have great sex one day and sometimes multiple times that day, she decides to hold sex from me for sometimes more than a week. after that week she initiates sex again, but this time suggests I use a condom, knowing full well it will more than likely cause my ed to spring up again. Then she blows a fit and says "dont worry, I expected it" and then avoids sex with me for another couple days till I pressure her and we have great sex again. She was always saying "You are average, stop thinking so highly of yourself" " or "psh other chicks wouldnt get with you, you have no game", while at the same time always telling me "Oh yea, you were with that girl! I bet she wanted to fuck right! On top of acting like a lunatic when another chick would talk to me. Sometimes for multiple days straight we will have good sex and then now she will start saying "I dont want to have sex with you because it's inconsistent, idk if you will be able to get a hard on" which is bullshit because we just had good sex a couple days back for like 2 or 3 days in a row.

So she basically sets it up for failure until finally after like month 7 or 8 she gives up because the problem goes away. Now we had kept getting into huge arguments over her talking to some guy who lives in california over and over because they use to have a thing for each other. But no matter how much I protested she wouldn't stop talking to him. So I threw her out of my house and we agreed to stay separated for a short amount of time but committed. Eventually she made the first move and asked me to meet her at her house. I asked her if she had slept with anyone and she started yelling at me about how I thought she was a slut and how she would never do that, blahblah blah. Eventually I found out one day that she did and I dumped her in a brutal fashion. She then drove to my house in the middle of the night, keyed my car, tryied stabbing me, then after about an hour I calmed her down by physically restraining her and then she started begging me to forgive her and crying like a desperate child for about 20 minutes. I was horny so I took her into my room and fucked her. That gave her hope, but I waited until she got home to break it to her that there was no hope.

She then started threatening to kill herself yadayada so I went to visit her and we fucked like 5 times for long as shit that day. btw in case you are wondering if its my penis being small or some shit, thats not an issue. So then she started pleading with me to forgive her, that she thought she could get over me if she did it and she realized she was wrong. So the next few days we spent them in bed with her crying about what she had done and her explaining how sorry she was, along with her cooking for me, buying me food, sucking my dick, etc etc. Eventually though I told her that I knew I would never be able to forgive her and that I didnt know what was gonna happen but if she wanted any hope of this working out she was gonna have to give me some space and just go along with what I wanted. She protested and got mad (its ridiculous how even in her position she was still trying to retain control.) so I left her house. But then she called me and agreed to my conditions of being back home at a certain time when she went out etc etc. The very next friday she goes out and late at night waay past when she was supposed to be home, her friend calls me and basically says she is fucking some guy.

The next time I see her we are at her house and we get into this huge explosive fight that led to me choke slamming the bitch. I went home and she ended up telling everyone I was a woman beater, blah blah blah. The girl was always extremely physically and emotionally abusive though and she would act like the world had ended whenever I even touched her. So after I confronted her about the second guy she started saying "ARE YOU KIDDINg ME, AFTER ALL THAT HAPPENED YOU THINK i WOULD DO THAT". but once again eventually I found out it was true. she ended up that night going to my mothers house and bitching at her about how I wont leave her alone. I of course informed them that her and I had been fucking in my car for a few weeks now and she was talking shit. so anyway I digress. Eventually I just told her just like this "listen I see what it is you want and how you are, so lets just be fwb" she agreed. for about a week and a half it went smoothly. But then little by little, every time we were gonna hang out, she was 30-40-1h 40m late and whenever we would have sex she would try to re establish us being in a relationship again by asking "what are we, but what is it that we are doing here, etc etc". so eventually I told her to fuck off because one night i got very physically violent with her which included a black eye and thats not me at all so I had to cut her off before something really bad happened.

But then at school (in college, we had a class together) she caught some girl flirting with me and went off on her in the middle of class. Then some friends of hers invited me on a date with another friend who was really pretty, and she found out about it and lost her fucking mind and made threats to her, her friends, me, everyone. She ruined that shit which was a shame because I really liked that girl. even while we were dating if any girl texted me she would get extremely violent with me. Coming from a whore I found it hilarious. So eventually I was like "you need to calm the fuck down". Then eventually I would try to support her in us moving on and every time I did she would call over and over from different numbers "because I blocked her number" and say "WTF are you talking about" and get very upset and then re try to establish control. it felt like no matter what, she would get mad and pissy that I didnt believe a fucking word she said anymore. Its an absurdity. It's like she refused to acknowledge the position she had put herself in with me.

So basically my question is. wtf is wrong with this girl. My question mark button on my keyboard is broken. Why does she constantly try to re establish control no matter how much she has fucked up, why does she try so hard in a relationship where if she just calms down and acts normal everything would have been fine. Why does she keep doing the same shit over and over again. What the fuck is the key to calming this girl the fuck down. I can't stand this constant fight for control that causes so much turmoil. The worst part is, honesty is impossible with her. When we broke up, I told her, w\e lets just be friends who are completely honest with each other, but still it was lie, after lie, after lie. I dont understand this fucking person. It's like she needs to be medicated and go through intensive therapy. But it doesnt make any sense that she would fuck guys behind my back and then get absolutely obsessively jealous. Sometimes she would have panick attacks in my car where her guilt would slip through and she would start hyperventilating while saying "omg Im a terrible person, I hate you for shoving my flaws down my throat, you make me feel like a piece of shit because you care about me" this is all while throwing herself around in the back seat of my car. Then she would start crying and begging me not to leave her (her father abandoned her as a kid) her ex (whom she also cheated on) got tired of her shit too and just used her as a fuck toy for the second half of their relationship. Ok so to conclude, wtf is going on with this girl.