How to be a wingman?

DaygameCode · 2024-09-19T23:01:04+00:00

I’m cold-approach coach, so let’s see the problem with wingmans.

Wingmans don’t generally have a clue how to deal with a shy and anxious person.

For starters, asking him to approach the one girl he likes when he doesn’t have a clue how to talk to women is not a good idea, let alone if it’s in a workplace where his job could potentially be at stake. Not only is he unlikely to seduce her even if he approached her, but the pressure will also be immense.

Talking to other women he doesn’t care about should be the first step, and that means forgetting about the “work crush” for the next couple of months, until he actually gets good at talking and seducing women in general.

That is because since it’s highly unlikely that he will get the crush, failing with her will just cause him to lead into self-esteem issues and even depression, which makes it even less likely that he will want to grow and learn by approaching other women. Because his obsession with his crush means the stakes are just way too high.

Not only that, but you also need to teach him how to process and manage his emotions in a healthy way, not just his anxiety, but also his ego, and his internal dialogues. This is something that requires deep understanding in psychology and not just the typical generic advice a a wingman will give like “come on man it’s not that big of a deal” or “the worst she can say is no”, or “come in don’t be a pussy”.

This is extremely unlikely to work because it goes much deeper than that, and not knowing how to put into words his exact thoughts makes it impossible for him to really listen or connect with you.

It also needs tactics and strategies to know what to say or do when he gets a bad reaction , and also tactics and skills to prevent bad outcomes from happening in the first place because a lot of bad reactions can be avoided.

But first you actually need to understand what is it that can cause those bad reactions. If you are used to being good at talking to girls by pure instinct, you may not not even know why women react differently to him than they do witch you when they try to embáulate what you tell them or what you do.

And lastly, he needs to see you trying that advice yourself by cold approaching women yourself, if he doesn’t see you trying that advice you give him, he won’t do it. Walk the talk, if you tell him to say or do one thing, do it yourself in front of him first.

MouseAware809 · 2024-09-20T10:03:25+00:00

Firstly work really is not the place for this. This has "group harassment" written all over it.

Secondly, are there any coffee shops or anything near you (assuming you are USA, where the legal age for a bar is 21) which is frequented by girls your co-workers age, that also do not work where you work?

Thirdly. being a wingman is about raising your wings value.

Say positive stuff about them.

Do not steal the spotlight.

Once he is talking to someone, eject, your job is done.

Wingman theory is its own kettle of fish however, I could write an essay on this, but I won't.

If your co-worker needs to go to the toilet whilst in set, maybe give a good old "He is a bit shy, but a really cool guy" or "If you want a laugh, his ex is always complaining she cannot find anyone who is as good as him at going down on her", etc. Do not do this in front of him, he needs to be in the toilet or something, otherwise it looks like your bragging on his behalf just to pump his ego.

Mrbfree513 · 2024-09-20T13:36:07+00:00

Just be yourself, just get to know the girl through casual conversations

MysteryLiezer · 2024-09-19T22:10:48+00:00

Work isn’t the place to “get him used to talking to women he’s attracted to and ask for her number.”

If he was already good at it, then fine, but he also wouldn’t need your help if that were the case.

Personally, you would know better if you were properly equipped to help him, anyway. Unless you’re willing to risk your job to help him, I’d tell him to move on.

If you really care, help him get over his anxiety through the appropriate mediums. Could probably do some good for the both of you!

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2024-09-19T22:39:56+00:00

Dont do it at work. One guy approaching a co-worker is ok but multiple sounds like recipe for HR disaster because she might feel swarmed.

Wingmanning is a skill. It's all about setup. Go out with him one night with that focus. If he has a fear of approaching, approach with him. Best if there are a group of girls (there should never be more guys than girls approaching), and you start the conversation and then you hype your boy up. Find a common ground. If he likes video games and the girl you are talking to also likes video games you can set him up like "my friend is really into games. Hey bro, she has played that game you like." and your friend will be more comfortable talking because a.) he's got his friend there and b.) he is talking about something that he has knowledge in and enjoys.

Dandys3107 · 2024-09-20T00:05:01+00:00

Good wingman is about complementing your partner and surfacing his good sides. It's more about working as a good team, he should be also a valid part of the group. He needs to improve on his own, as a wingman you can't make magic with nothing.

Title	How to be a wingman?
Author	yuckyuck13
Upvotes	1
Comments	6
Date	September 19, 2024 10:05 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fkwied/how_to_be_a_wingman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-be-a-wingman.1530789 https://theredarchive.com/post/1530789

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