Why exactly are you here?

thelambofdeth · 2021-07-30T05:12:52+00:00

I have approach anxiety and low self-esteem to the points it's pretty much crippled my around women, thus I hoped I'd find assistance and legitimate advice on this sub...

DMTmeister · 2021-07-30T07:27:46+00:00

I self-diagnosed myself as somewhat autistic(social norms? wtf are those). I found a post from here, awhile back, on small psychology tips and tricks to be more social. I feel like I've had to learn and study how to be normal while most people just "get it" and this sub has helped me tremendously.

Kenic_In_MD · 2021-07-30T05:17:53+00:00

I found this sub after breaking up with the girl I was considering as a long term GF/wife and I was very down in the dumps in a bad way. After being here for a few years, tightening up my game and learning just how valuable I really am. I'm in a much better place now.

loofyd · 2021-07-30T07:29:31+00:00

Basically too scared to talk to girls

And fucking tired of it - enough is fucking enough

Have some very, very bad (nearly to the point of false accusation) experiences with women and i never understood wtf was wrong when i was the straightest arrow and always behaved nicely to women (worst mistake - NEVER be nice, not only will you be used and friendzoned but you might be subject to bullshit accusations - bad boys neve face those though and you should wonder why )

Turns out conservative upbringing had confused me internally and psychologically about women - who often mistook my friendliness as attempts to flirt or get close to them, which resulted in a lot of shit being thrown towards my reputation (the country's culture was a shit show and the women themselves were probably insecure as fuck and didn't know what to do with so little self-esteem so all they did was pull absolute bullshit ) - hence i need to become emotionally intelligent with women as well as attractive so i can talk to cute girls i like confidently and take things forward with them

Main purpose is to figure out how to kill anxiety around women so i can talk to them without getting all fidgety and ask out the ones i like - take rejection like a champ and know how to escalate with women who Iike me

Learning game is my way of gaining social skills i never had ..

Global-Bridge-6787 · 2021-07-30T05:05:28+00:00

Im here because being good with women was always something I struggled with, to the point of depression an suicidal thoughts feeling like I’ll never get it right. When I got better, my life got better and I want to help people that were like me because someone helped me when I was hopeless.

Wheatbelt_charlie · 2021-07-30T11:13:08+00:00

Im am diagnosed with aspergers, and I have the looks and the charisma to be successful, but my social skills always shoot that chance in the head, so here I am, trying to be better, and trying not to get too hurt doing it.

itzReborn · 2021-07-30T13:10:53+00:00

A mix of anxiety, low self esteem and confidence. Maybe even lack of experience at my age (22) where it seems a lot of guys and girls have some

I’m just scared to put myself out there even though I want to be. Afraid to use dating apps cause I’m being judge on mostly on looks, don’t approach irl cause I’m rarely outside anyway plus I don’t want to be seen as a creep. Not to mention I’m pretty quiet and introverted by nature

It’s just weird for me man

BluePsychosisDude2 · 2021-07-30T06:02:16+00:00

I came here with the intent to get women, and ended up discovering a lot about human psychology and how people actually operate in reality. I got a better job, hit the gym, make friends constantly, and women are much more interested in me now.

QubicSpaceCookie · 2021-07-30T08:00:35+00:00

I just came here and I think it's awesome sub.

lildudefromXdastreet · 2021-07-30T14:14:05+00:00

Used to be here a lot back in the day to cuz I like giving advice to help out the bros. But I’m honestly not on this sub anymore because it’s been filled with women and super PC nowadays

-Twyptophan- · 2021-07-30T06:28:12+00:00

It's a good community of like-minded people. My friends aren't all that interested in game so it's good to talk with people who like it. I've learned some good things here and there and I hope to get enough experience to the point where I can give some solid advice one day

iroshyada · 2021-07-30T09:23:46+00:00

I will be signing my divorce papers soon, and I will be introducing myself again to the world of “dating” and since I haven’t date that much, I’m insecure and don’t know much, I’m here to learn

NatsuxErza · 2021-07-30T09:05:30+00:00

Some preface - I never developed social skills during high school or before. I was always the loner nerdy guy; and once I got out of high school and my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me I realized I had no social skills. This led to me being alone for many years, because I didn't know how to make a girl respond to any of my messages. Or go talk to a girl in a bar. Or talk to someone at the counter. I wasn't searching for fucks every day, I'm looking for love. However if you can't get any replies in the first place...

Now this sub has some great advice. But what I've learned in my quest to find my forever partner (which still hasn't happened but I have prospects finally!) I've learned to just be my silly nerdy self. To be compassionate and caring about everyone and eventually someone will click with me!

TL:DR - I joined this sub to find ways to talk with women and get genuine non one word responses. (which involved changing my approach)

Mr-Bratt69 · 2021-07-30T10:41:40+00:00

I'm here for cookies!

k-meal0 · 2021-07-30T11:14:15+00:00

Gf broke up with me after 5 years of relationship (there was not a 'feeling' anymore, it became dead). I was always shy before adulthood. My ex was my first attempt to approach a girl, and it was successful, so I haven't proven to myself that I am attractive to women. My looks are quite good, I have good height, but the conversation game, reading social cues and signals is what I lack. So I came here to learn that.

Wildriftskin · 2021-07-30T11:57:16+00:00

take a guess

2021-07-30T12:41:50+00:00

To help the bros

Effective-Shape-7152 · 2021-07-30T13:03:38+00:00

Dude literally the same. Was having an honest conversation with some of my close friends and female friends and they said exactly what you said. In a platonic sense I’m really good at driving conversation and charming people. While I struggle with social anxiety as long as I put myself in social situations I end up really connecting with people and making friends with literal strangers on the street.

When it comes to non-platonic relationships and “seduction” though I suck. I end up just not really going for it with girls I have actual interest in because of my own securities about stupid shit like my weight and looks. Which is fucking frustrating because if I could just act the same way that I do when making friends but add a little more seduction then I could literally change my life. My friends were literally blown away when I revealed I’m still a virgin at 23 because they just assumed that with my social skills I’d be a great flirt and great with women in a romantic sense. Fuck rejection sensitivity though.

Tl/dr: Amazing platonically but don’t put myself out there romantically

CountFocus · 2021-07-30T15:38:54+00:00

I love women and have a very analytical mind so I enjoy dissecting the psychology behind seduction. Is like a hobby to me.

Also, I want to improve my English writing and communication so Reddit is a great place to do that.

When I was a teenager I was very shy so I kinda empathize with this community. Nowadays I'm older but with more experience, an LTR of 9 years, lots of ONS, and other short-term relationships (spinning plates).

But I don't consider myself a PUA or redpiller or casanova, I honestly think these terms are cringey and miss the purpose. I'm here because I really love women and want more of them, in quality and quantity.

CloutComputing · 2021-07-30T16:05:48+00:00

Because I'm not standing out on dating apps enough for it to allow me to go on actual dates.

I've had my profile and pictures reviewed by at least a dozen people, and nobody has said I'm ugly. But there are things I can do to look better.

Having said that, the matches I do get have been of decent quality but I'm ghosted either after asking for a phone number when we agree to the general idea of meeting up, or after a prolonged conversation. So I can't figure out when to ask for a date, how to be smooth in a text conversation (I've never had to be smooth period), and how to show romantic/sexual intent on a date, when I'm usually platonic with women.

Which brings me to the fact that I've only been on 3 dates at the age of 24 (I turn 25 in 2 weeks) and am a virgin, and am desperate as ever to make a change. In the past month I have hit the gym and doubled my caloric intake. I'm 5'10", 150lb. I am clearing my wardrobe out, which wasn't bad to begin with, but wasn't great.

The only way I can have success in dating is by outperforming everyone else. Because otherwise I'll be invisible, even if I pay for dating apps. Even if I cold approach, it doesn't mean anything if I don't look my absolute best.

Equivalent_Current_3 · 2021-07-30T16:13:29+00:00

I am here because I cant find a girl who sees me more than a friend. I can do everything right and flirt and try to make moves, but its always the same thing. "your a great attractive and funny guy, but I just dont see you that way, I am sure you will find a girl soon"

It seems that I am just not the type of guy that girls are attracted to.

I baffles my girl friends. They say that they are surprised I have never been on a date and I am always rejected. They try to set me up with their friends just for me to be stood up. They say I am a confusing case. They have said that no matter what I do, I might just be destined to be alone.

Yanksfan28gg · 2021-07-30T16:54:26+00:00

22 going on 23 never been with anyone. Desperate to change this because waking up everyday feeling unwanted and undesirable is truly a living hell.

CDRFlyGuy · 2021-07-30T17:46:08+00:00

You need to work harder at expressing genuine intention and giving crystal clear communication, The only person stopping you is you you also have the responsibility to change that.

missterrcammeraa · 2021-07-30T18:05:30+00:00

I’m here to help people :)

Dakessian · 2021-07-30T20:04:24+00:00

When I read something I already practice/know, it makes me feel confident about myself.

Flybyknight27 · 2021-07-30T21:21:56+00:00

To seduce hot playboy playmates into having hot sweaty ball sucking orgasmic cock thrusting sex.

burncushlikewood · 2021-07-30T21:49:05+00:00

I'm here because I'm passionate about pick up, and also I want to help other guys and give back for all the material on the manosphere that's free that men/women make to help us get laid, not only that but finding the perfect lifelong partner or get into a loving relationship. I'm here to analyze and give pointers, and learn from others so I can live the best life possible

2021-07-30T23:19:05+00:00

I’m here cause I had mad social anxiety.

Turns out I was just way into my own head. All I had to do was start reading people and communicating a little more honestly instead of launching my own conspiracies.

YoungEld · 2021-07-31T00:26:50+00:00

Cheating is disgusting I hate it with a passion if learning a few seduction skills minimizes the chance of it happening so be it

Horror_Philosopher88 · 2021-07-31T04:05:53+00:00

Right because it's Fright night every night brothherrrrrah

Horror_Philosopher88 · 2021-07-31T04:07:42+00:00

Why are u so worried about people liking you or not who cares. Like the most beautiful thing is when you love yourself and when you stop believing negative shit somebody has said to you and about you. The pain will stop when you stop believing all of peoples bullshit

uniballpenman · 2021-07-31T20:17:44+00:00

To help others, I found my wife already.

Yokowi · 2021-07-30T08:44:58+00:00

See what men are up to and usually laugh at some of the "advice" :D

AColdEgg · 2021-07-30T08:33:32+00:00

I love people and I'm always striving to learn how to connect with them better. This subreddit differs from the social skills subreddit in that it focuses more on starting a connection and I love that.

Anhilator26 · 2021-07-30T09:32:17+00:00

A reminder. Of where I’ve been. And where I’m still going.

CleanWholesomePhun · 2021-07-30T10:30:54+00:00

I do pretty well with women besides being, on paper, someone who shouldn't.

I'd like to be helpful to others and be a counter-balance to voices online that talk about romance and seduction in dehumanizing ways.

EstLoskid · 2021-07-30T09:07:06+00:00

Trying ro see why ppl dont like me

Paltenburg · 2021-07-30T10:01:47+00:00

I have a GF now, but it's just nice to read about this stuff, and maybe pick up some things along the way.

LandSharkRoyale · 2021-07-30T10:15:09+00:00

Just here to learn game, women used to come easy for me but now a days everyone is so scared to meet up I get flaked 99% of the time. Also same boat as you I’m learning a lot more about my insecurities and what I really want.

rattled_by_rush · 2021-07-30T10:41:02+00:00

I've been shy around women my whole life. There have definitely been many opportunities I could have taken advantage of if I didn't have so many hang ups. So I guess I'm here to get more motivation to approach women and hopefully learn some skills to keep me from burning out too bad when I do. Really need to start doing some cold approaches...

sociallyadapted · 2021-07-30T09:39:22+00:00

My bf has been a long time in the pick-up artist scene and I consider him pretty good at it. Wanted to find out about the different methods, also to be guarded in case things go sour and I have to interact again with men.

Confidence is nice, treating women like individuals and escalating is nice. In this sub are still many douchebags so trying to built a filter for later.

Title	Why exactly are you here?
Author	yuckyuck13
Upvotes	147
Comments	81
Date	July 30, 2021 5:01 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/oue65m/why_exactly_are_you_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-exactly-are-you-here.1279364 https://theredarchive.com/post/1279364

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