I 24(f) just went through a rollercoaster horrible relationship with an abusive ex partner. I lost feelings for him about 1 year into the relationship, and broke up with him a month after (this past April). I found out that he manipulated me, lied to me about everything (including have a job when he met me), cheated on his ex, did credit card fraud in my name putting me in 40K+ debt and also cheated on me.

I am still dealing with contesting the credit card companies but I am completely emotionally over him in terms of love. All I feel is anger for the things that he put me through and exhaustion from dealing with the fraud. Thankfully I am long distance from him and have no plans to contact him ever again.

I put myself out there a few months after I left him. I talked to someone new and though it didn’t work out, I felt a joy in me. However, I feel riddled with trust issues and anxiety when talking to someone new. I feel extremely suspicious and have a hard time believing that I will find someone trustworthy. After multiple failed talking stages, I’m wondering if the universe is telling me it’s time for me to take a break.

Only thing is, I worry that by taking a break I will lose out on meeting my potential future husband. I also have never been intentionally alone or not searching, and I feel extremely bored as men have been a form of excitement for me along time. However, I want to do what is best for me right now even if it will be the hard thing.