I stumbled across this Psychology Today article that analyzes what's at the core of successful, long-term romantic relationships. It's just brimming with some RP truths.

Article: The Fantasy That Puts All Relationships At Risk

The research team, led by Bianca P. Acevedo and Arthur Aron, found that the “dopamine-rich brain regions associated with reward, motivation and ‘wanting’” were activated in similar ways in couples newly in love and those who experienced “romantic love” over the course of many years. They defined “romantic love” as characterized by “intensity, engagement and sexual interest.” This type of love was associated with marital satisfaction, well-being, high self-esteem, and relationship longevity.

Look at these RP traits: well-being (stemming from physical and mental fitness) and high self-esteem (an alpha trait from confidence in one's abilities.)

What does it all mean? It means that couples who maintain “intensity, engagement and sexual interest” without that extra layer of anxiety associated with “obsessive love” can, in fact, sustain the sparkly, cloud-nine, butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling of being in love.

No surprises here. The key components are intensity or assertive behaviors and dread game, engagement or being interesting/well-rounded and able to incite interest in your partner and, of course, sexual interest or physical attraction (lifting, kino) and continued usage of game within relationships.

I would argue that couples can preserve “romantic love” by avoiding a “Fantasy Bond.”

It's a concept developed by my father, psychologist Robert Firestone, to describe an illusion of connection that a couple forms which replaces real acts of love, affection, and relating. A fantasy bond exists when the form of a relationship becomes more important than the substance. In these relationships, a couple starts to forego their individuality, losing the “me” to become a “we.”

Losing individuality, aka beta behavior that forsakes a man's own interest and well-being in lieu of his partner. An alpha makes his own away and thrives in the company of his lover, while the beta seeks to shed his individuality and "merge" with his lover.

This loss of identity is detrimental to sustaining romantic love. Our initial attractions are very much based on a sense of interest in; an intensity toward; and an attraction to a separate person. This combination of emotional, intellectual, and physical engagement is necessary to keep love alive. Yet we forego this excitement in favor of a safer arrangement in which we regard our partners as extensions of ourselves, instead of appreciating them for the autonomous individuals they are.

Again, the theme of falling into beta behaviors in the comfort of a relationship.

A fantasy bond allows us to feel secure and connected to someone else, while numbing us against some of the more painful emotions that love stirs up, such as existential anxiety, fear of loss, or memories of hurt, longing, or rejection.

The negative, attraction-destroying emotions rear their ugly heads. It's clear that expressing, or letting frame slip for sake of avoiding these negative emotions are the death knell for romantic relationships.

Overall a pretty interesting article, I suggest giving it a read.