We finally decided our marriage isn’t working and we are separating. It took way too long to reach this point. I know it is a toxic relationship but I didn’t realize how much separating was actually going to affect me. It was like getting stabbed in the gut.

I came home last night and ate dinner alone. Like I have for a long time but knowing that there was no hope of having the companion of old around hit me hard. She was my best friend.

So I decided to hit a local bar for a drink because I didn’t want to be alone. There was a decent size crowd and a person or two that I knew. I was talking to people sporadically and getting hit on. However, I felt dead inside. The person hitting on me was chatting me up and it was a nice conversation but I felt empty. I wasn’t looking for anything and definitely didn’t want to go down that road, but I thought the attention would be nice. (Feels pathetic, but it’s where I’m at.) However, I didn’t feel anything but empty inside.

I know time makes this better, but all I feel right now is bad.

No real question, just hoping to get others experiences.

Thanks for reading