I am very depressed and worried about the future of society, Maybe anyone can give me some hope?

I am a nearly 40 year old virgin who has never had a girlfriend, not even a kiss or a cuddle. I was always pretty awkward around women since I was little. I grew up with Attention Deficit Disorder, learning disability and even Tourette syndrome. I grew up with alot of anxiety, was bullied, developed obsessive compulsive disorder. My brain was always not in great shape. I tried to not use it as a crutch, but failed miserably in the workplace, got fired from many jobs. I grew up very religious, and they were pretty strict about sex being a sin and maintained that you had to wait till marriage to lose your virginity, one reason why I did not date in high school. Through out my 20's I didn't care about dating at all, and at the back of my mind I thought if I decided to date one day it would be easy. The church brainwashed me into thinking that when i got old there were gonna be tons of women desperately trying to lure me and tempt into relationships and that I was somehow suppose to be this strong Christian and say no to sex.

It was not till I was about 28 years old that I got a little concerned and thought, you know I am reaching near 30 now and I need to make an effort to find a girl friend. I don't wanna be like my dad who didn't marry till he was 32. I wanted to beat my dad.

It started with online dating, then going to singles groups, then listening to pick up artist videos on youtube (which was the only advice I got, no one taught me this stuff including my own father). I tried everything I taught, I even broke out of my comfort zone and approached so many women.

Fast forward to today, I have approached I would not be surprised its in the thousands, of women. I can't keep count its alot. I have gotten many numbers but no success, mostly flakes, and strange scenarios that everyone falls into. I feel like I have hit near rock bottom because of how much effort I put into this with no good results, I am still a virgin today without a girlfriend. I am currently in therapy trying to address these issues trying to figure things out.

I am afraid, I might just be one of those people that my brain is just really not up to par with what is expected today. The simplest things for most people is too complicated for me. many people say I overthink things and I lack common sense. Without that you can't get a women.

Keep in mind I live in Seattle, Washington. I don't know if this plays a major role too. Its a city with a high ratio of male to females (more males than men), and its notorious for the seattle freeze, people are just antisocial here, and its also extremely expensive here. It rains alot too so people are always in a bad mood. It's also very liberal here and progressive. I can't blame everything on the city, but I guess it doesn't help. I have had women call the cops on me or threaten to call the cops many times just based on texts.

I always told my self worst case scenario if I can't find a woman the normal way maybe I can just go to a hooker, like as a last result.

i was browsing around escorts online the other day, and it makes me so depressed. On this site tryst, I saw escorts charging nearly 600-800 dollars an hour! Not only that the same escorts charging that much would not allow kissing or just many other exclusions. I thought to myself what has the world gone too. How did we get to a place where escorts are making extravagant amounts of money and charging only fans too. The type of money they are making is way more than I could ever make working at mc Donald's. I don't even have a job currently because I am in the process of getting social security disability.

i can't tell you how depressed this makes me. It feels like women are untouchable, like they are this untouchable figure worth nearly 1000 dollars an hour and only rich people can attain them.

Where does that leave people like me? does that mean that the only way I will ever get sex is from breaking the law and raping someone? Is this what society is forcing men to do? Like what are men in my position suppose to do ? I am trying everything to improve my self, get a good job, improve my social skills, and no matter how hard I try I am not able to.

Alan rodger currie once said on a youtube show that there are some guys that no matter what they do they will never be able to attract women, he said the only options for them are to pay a woman for sex, be a cuck of couple, or rape someone. I think he might of been referring to people with Asperger's syndrome. That made me so depressed because alot of people think I might have aspergers syndrome.

I wish society wasn't like what it is now where women are making extravagant amounts of money on onlyfans or as escorts, because now sex is even more unattainable for men. I wonder if it was like this in the early 80's or 90s.

If all else fails, I have been tempted to even worse darker places. Please someone give me some sign of hope or is there any options out there for me?

One idea I had was driving up to canada because the escorts there are cheaper I imagine due to the Canadian dollar, but its a long drive, and its the same problem there escorts charging high money.

I wish I could just find a normal girlfriend without going to escorts, I feel at an extremely low point in my life. I have been told by women that my Asperger's syndrome will detest most women, and that I am better off not existing because me existing just hurts other innocent women ive been told.