For some reason r/ men doesn't exist (but r/ women does???), and r/ askmen keeps banning my post for not adhering to their ridiculous rules, so this is the only other male space I can think of to post this.

I'm forced to choose flair for this and chose the one that makes the most sense (r3ddit rules are just getting ridiculous at this point).

ANYWAYS...

I've always been physically unattracted to fat. It's like a phobia. That doesn't mean I'm not a nice person to bigger girls (or big people in general), or treat them lesser. I just cannot feel attraction towards them.

I'm still a good person to anyone who deserves it, but sexually, how I feel cannot be changed or altered.

It's like asking a gay man to be attracted to a woman. It's just not possible. People will gaslight you and call you shallow, but the idea of having sex with someone bigger grosses me out. The idea of cuddling in bed or having sex and feeling rolls of fat makes me want to vomit. The idea of me myself being fat makes me sick, thus why I've always been motivated to be healthy.

I just cannot sexually or romantically be interested in women who aren't a healthy or similar weight to me (the female equivalent). Also, I need somebody with similar values. I want to raise children with fitness as a priority (I go to the gym most days of the week and practice yoga daily).

That doesn't mean a woman needs to be anorexic. Every girl I've dated has had some degree of body fat obviously (I know women have higher body fat % than men).

As a short guy, it seems like I'm expected to lower my standards and accept bigger girls as partners, like it's some sacrifice I need to make for the crime of being short.

The difference is, weight is OFTEN (not always), but often a controllable variable. One cannot alter height without incredibly painful and risky surgery (other than shoes with heels obviously). One CAN typically lose weight or maintain a healthy BMI though.

If anything, as a smaller guy, I need a smaller woman. I have dated a taller girl, but she was quite fit so she wasn't that heavy compared to me, despite the height difference.

I understand that a woman might feel the exact same about short men, which is fair. I've been rejected due to my size often. It is what it is and I accept that.

But I hate that people treat me like I'm shallow or a bad person for not being sexually interested in larger women. It physically repulses me to think of having sex with them.

Again, I'm not going to make fun of or insult a big girl, but I'd rather be single and alone than force myself to like somebody I don't like for the sake of having a partner.

I don't care what colour her hair is, or what colour eyes, or how big or small her breasts are or how big or small her butt is, or how short or tall she is, or most any other trait, but I do care about weight.

I know love and romance is also about personality, but physicality is still vital and like I said, I want somebody with similar values regarding the importance of health.

You can call me what you want or insinuate that I'm shallow or an asshole, but like I said, it's like asking a gay man to love a woman or a straight man to love another man. At least that's how I see it.