Just some things I wanted to air, and felt like this was the right place. Basically, I don't think I ever grew out of pining after one person for a really long time, until they either move away, someone else catches my attention, or they become less attractive to me. I don't know if this is something you grow out of either really, or if it's the normal way to experience attraction in general (for women?).

Like I've just started this new job four months ago, it's an office/warehouse that does wholesale giftware. Probably sounds crap, but it's the best job I've had so far, I'm about 50/50 in the office or warehouse areas. I swear the physical nature of the role has also been amping up my sexuality, like I have more energy and everything. I'm only 24, so for me expending energy seems to lead to more energy (somehow).

But back to the topic, I've had two crushes since I've been here, one was on another employee who was hired at the same time as me, and the one I have now is for one of the three supervisors. I got the first crush literally after one conversation, he gave me this very flirty look, and then I was thinking about him after that. I went off him after talking to him more, and hearing him say some not-so-nice things about me while I wasn't in the room. He was jealous I was chosen for the office position basically, so obviously that wouldn't have gone anywhere. I am proud of myself too that I became unattracted pretty much as soon as he started his nonsense.

Onto the next guy. My crush on him is a lot more powerful, I think this is likely because he is a lot more assertive, ambitious, self directed and less arrogant than the first guy. He's also more my type in terms of humour, calmer energy, less insecure etc. I'm saying all this, but I doubt it'll go anywhere either since he is a supervisor, he's not my direct supervisor, and he treats me more like I'm 'helping out' than one of his employees, but he is still a supervisor. He manages the warehouse, my boss manages the office.

But I still can't stop thinking about him all the same, and I'm sure all this is made worse by the fact I've been single for two years, and I'm nearly 25. It's almost like my body knows this is something I should be pursuing now, I have a background in biological sciences, so this stuff is interesting to me and I notice things. I'm sure I'm attracted to him because he's proven to be a good leader, which 'should' be exactly what I'm looking for at this stage of life. Like compared to university students the same age (he's 26), I find them completely unattractive, they haven't worked before and seem so uncapable by comparason. This legit feels like I have a disease sometimes though lol, when I've been thinking about him non-stop for an hour or so. I do hope this kind of levels off with time.

I know I labelled this post 'advice', but I'll be honest it's really just my ramblings, I've had a lot of thoughts/feelings lately.