First off please before anyone says it I know this all may be a little stupid I understand that... But I am just a little broken right now...

The last girl I was with fucked with me and seams to have broken something inside of me and I am not sure how to fix it...

Here is the story I was with her for almost a year and in the whole time she would not accept the title of girlfriend.

We would have sex a lot and she would cum many times. But she was very non cuddly and non affectionate twards me and even though I told her I loved her she would insist that I did not.

She claimed we where in an open relationship and then when I eventually used it when I was bored with my then best friend who was female to practice fingering (ironicly to be better for her lol) and she found out she flipped her shit and got all hysterical about it then calmed down. It is worth noting that me her and her had a 3 some together at one point before that after which was the first time she said "I love you" to me. About a week later she bailed on me on Halloween and went to go hang out with other friends and made out with a guy at the party she later admitted this to me when I asked what was wrong because she was acting very weird. When I did she admitted that she made out with him. I asked her if it was the only time and then I kept my self in control and did not get mad and said that while I did not like it I understood because of how she felt with the thing with my friend and said I would not get mad at her.

Fast forward about a month and she is spending less and less time with me and I would do things like say I want to go on a date to get sushi with her like we use to and then she would not make time for me but then she would hang out with the guy that she made out with at the party (I did not know it was the same guy at the time) any how this happened several times and then I had enough and I told her that I was sick of it and that I was not going to sit around and wait to get cheated on because she was clearly going on dates with him she did not object at all when I said things needed to change or it was over and did not make any effort... I cut her off and stopped talking to her for a month... I talked to her again and they where together officially like facebook and everything!

What the actual fuck!!!

I feel like chuck in that movie Good Luck Chuck this is not the first time this has happened at all most of my girlfriend are still with who ever they date after me...

It has now been a year she is still with him even though he is atleast mentally if not phisically abusive to her lies to her all the time and any time goes through her phone deletes text msgs and pretends to be her talking to people using her phone

I on the other hand am a broken shell of who I was... I keep having shit come up with the woman I was going to propose to who cheated on me and then left me for him and then killed her self about half a year later

I am also having trouble trusting any women's motives about anything relating to me...

And I am questioning if any of the women I have ever been with actually liked me or if they where just addicted to the pleasure I could give them you see I studied the art of pleasure indepth everything down to how and why each mussle in the vagina feels the way it does and what mental states are triggered by what and how... I have been told by several of my exes that they miss my sex because the guy they are with is nothing like me and does not know how to even use his dick properly much less his toung...

One huge problem here is that I feel like a need a connection but I don't know how to get that when I feel like this... I want to feel loved and valued not just feel like a really good sex toy

Because that's how she made me feel she made me feel like a used and discarded sex toy!

I hope you all can help in some way and to anyone who decides to leave a comment thank you so much! Even if it does not help I value your time in trying to help. Unless your a troll then you can go suck a bag of dicks!