This is for the people who are still struggling, or still want to start with cold approaching and are sick of dating apps.

For some context, I had a rough 2 years, dealing with burn-out and long covid. Because of that, my social life stagnated to record lows. At some point when some energy came back to me, I decided to get rid of the dating apps all together, and focus on challenging my severe social anxiety by doing cold approaches. From the get go I realized that this was definitely the right path to dive onto, it awakened something in me, almost as if I went bungee jumping for the first time and I realized that I’m a thrill junkie. And probably I am, because holy shit I’m addicted now.

But yes, I also saw that it was still a big skill that I had to learn, after all, I’m on the spectrum, and everything social is manual to me. But I decided to take on this challenge, and reflect on my experiences.

Now, cold approaching can still feel very horrendous in the start of a set, but I know now that after a couple of interactions, it goes away rather quickly, and it will be replaced with a very strong feeling of confidence, adrenaline, empowerment and joy. Even though I get rejected, it feels so insanely good to overcome the anxiety, it is priceless, and there is nothing out there that compares.

And this is the thing that I like to share with you. Because those feelings were completely lost in my life, I’ve been living as a bag of fucking potatoes and nothing special happened. I’ve been down in the lowest of the lowest, and I had to drag my self out of that shithole. It is most certainly an ugly experience to make this change, but oh boy, it will transform into something beautiful when you’re persistent and don’t give up.

This morning I woke up, two weeks after I got dumped by a girl that I had feelings for. It fucked me okay. But then I realized, I have this tool, cold approaching. So I said fuck it and went out to walk around in the city. Got rejected by 6 girls because they had a boyfriend (apparently I’m always picking the ones that are taken), but then, somewhere at the end, I met this very cute girl, she was very receptive, and we planned a date for tomorrow.

So the conclusion here is; you can feel extremely down, maybe because someone hurt you, maybe life has fucked you. But you are in power of change, you can decide whether or not you will do something that will improve your situation. So, you want to feel confident, empowered and joyful? Put yourself together, and walk up to that girl.

I’ve only approached up to 75 girls, but damn, every time I haven’t done it in a while, I feel a crave, and I need to get out again.

Good luck.