Enforcement of child support through the county: how to pay it directly to the mother

Unnecessary_Timeline · 2025-03-28T09:13:59+00:00

In most states, if not all, is extremely unwise to pay the mother through any method outside of the payment system set up in your state.

it is common for money transferred to the mother outside of the official state system to not be counted as child support because the state says it cannot be proven that the intent of the money you sent was to fulfill your child support.

Even when it can be proven that the intent of the transfer of money was for child support (a text, a note in the comment section of the transfer, etc), the very fact that you did it outside of the government mandated system is often enough on its own to disqualify the money from contributing to your obligation.

Your court order should stipulate the exact amount of money that goes to the mother. When you use their system, there could be additional fees, but you can refer to your paperwork to know exactly how much of the money is going to the mother versus how much is fees for using the government system. Again, it is not wise to go outside of the government system, even with those fees, because you’re just gonna screw yourself over if she ever goes to the court and claims to have not been receiving your child support. It’s better to pay fees now rather than have repay tens or even hundreds of payments that you’ve already made to her but the court determined to be invalid.

Yes, it’s a racket. States are incentivized by the federal government to establish paternity and issue child support orders, even when couples have made their own arrangements outside of court, because each state receives federal funding for reaching certain metrics for paternity establishment and child support orders issued, as well as percent of child support collected, and percent of arrears collected.

They are incentivized to maintain that previous support from earlier years you made was invalid, because the state didn’t receive federal funding for your payment in that fiscal year. If they say the payment actually was valid, they don’t get to make any money off of you. But if they say your payment was invalid, then when you do pay again in the future, they receive federal money because your repeated payment counts toward their federal dollars awarded for collection of arrears.

Until we get reform, all you can do is play by the rules of their game so that you can minimize the damage to yourself

CarHungry · 2025-03-28T05:54:46+00:00

I can't speak for every state, but I gave my kid's mother money, (more money than I really even had at the time to just be giving), in person right before the first time she took me to court and CSSD didn't care at all about it, it "doesn't count". She hasn't recieved a penny since, couldn't give anything even if I wanted to now, because of the phony protection order I was hit with right before "negotiation" aka the shakedown. I can't even contact her without risking more legal nonsense by the state. I don't actually have to pay support legally and moved away from this nightmare years ago, but I'll never forget how this rotten system robbed me of everything.

CostRains · 2025-03-28T09:38:28+00:00

All of this depends on your state/local laws. If you have any concerns, talk to a family lawyer.

However, the general rule is to always pay child support through the state system. That way, there is no dispute about whether you paid or not.

The government isn't supposed to keep any of the money, and it would be very difficult for them to cheat because there are plenty of couples that are civil enough to talk about it and notice that the amount received doesn't match.

CSEworker · 2025-03-28T11:32:17+00:00

If the state agency is involved, never pay directly. You are not guarenteed credit. If the other parent is open on public assistance, they are not entitled to receive child support. So if you pay her directly whiles she's receiving benefits, you will not get credit for it and a debt will accrue against you that the state will enforce to collect.

Unless told otherwise by the state agency, do not stop paying to avoid enforcements.

antifeminist3 · 2025-03-29T22:11:33+00:00

Paying through a third party precludes the possibility of false accusations of not paying.

Title	Enforcement of child support through the county: how to pay it directly to the mother
Author	milanadj
Upvotes	13
Comments	6
Date	March 27, 2025 11:47 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1jlhixg/enforcement_of_child_support_through_the_county/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/enforcement-of-child-support-through-the-county.1547849 https://theredarchive.com/post/1547849

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