How to not be an interviewer?

BaconEggsAndSleaze · 2015-10-22T17:35:38+00:00

You're not flirting by asking a shit load of personal questions.

Next time, make assumptions: I bet you wanted to change your name when you were younger because of X.

You look like an X kinda girl.

Have fun with them.

bertmaklinFBI · 2015-10-22T14:44:41+00:00

Conversation should flow normally based on what you are talking about. Appropriate segways. It sounds like an interview when you are not fully listening and waiting for you to ask one of your questions from the list you have in your head.

Her response was probably a joke to give her time to think of an answer or lighten the mood. Don't read too much into it.

I asked her a why she wanted to change her name when she was younger, what did she want to escape

This is not keeping the conversation light and fun. She brings up serious stuff, make a joke and steer the conversation elsewhere.

I tried to keep the conversation light and fun but she kept trying to have deep conversation

Again, you should be steering the conversation. Your not there as her study buddy or BFF. You are there to have fun.

htbf · 2015-10-22T16:22:09+00:00

There is no problem with this at all. Agree and amplify. "Yeah, have you brought your resume by the way ?"

It's only a problem if the whole conversation is question after question which is not the case here, according to what your wrote.

[deleted] · 2015-10-22T19:25:48+00:00

Make statements instead of asking questions.

"Are you into modern art?"

"You seem like the kind of girl who is into modern art."

Even better, when making a compliment make sure to make clear it is YOUR opinion of her.

"The dress looks nice."

"I think that dress looks nice."

Small difference but major impact.

Dethklokk · 2015-10-22T19:30:04+00:00

"Wow I feel like I'm at an interview"

That was a shit test. To see if you'd back off and fall into her frame. Then you did.

To be fair though it could've been that you weren't giving her air to ask questions back. Learning to let the conversation breath and live in the silence is just as important as anything.

randarrow · 2015-10-22T14:20:03+00:00

One of the hard things I deal with. I have to simply avoid asking questions. So, make statements rather than questions. "I think there is something wrong with that valet. I wonder if my car is safe." "I can't belive Michigan State won that game. That last play was crazy." "My day has been weird." "I went to this great brewery last weekend."

Questions are an unnatural conversation flow.

crixusin · 2015-10-22T14:02:55+00:00

Read about current events, cool stuff that's going on in the world, and remember them for your dates. Then talk about that stuff too. Then its not an interview, but a discussion. Remember stories from throughout your day.

You still have to talk about each other though.

rokr1292 · 2015-10-22T16:50:21+00:00

I got that once, tried to emulate the guy from office space. @50 seconds https://youtu.be/m4OvQIGDg4I it worked fairly well but I was lucky she got the reference. Turned the conversation off of questions and onto movies.

rattamahatta · 2015-10-22T17:36:40+00:00

Watch the Late Late Show on YouTube. Craig Ferguson was the master of NOT interviewing ladies.

0_fox_are_given · 2015-10-23T01:53:01+00:00

If you don't want to be an interviewer there are many other career options you can follow.

What kind of degree or qualification/s do you have?

Title	How to not be an interviewer?
Author	Dethklokk
Upvotes	14
Comments	19
Date	October 22, 2015 1:58 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3prv6z/how_to_not_be_an_interviewer/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-not-be-an-interviewer.155468 https://theredarchive.com/post/155468

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