A lot of guys in the OYS report that their prayer lives are lacking. Here are just a few quotes I've pulled from the last 1 year:

  • "I haven’t spent that much time individually in the word or praying lately."
  • "I have been reading but not praying at all."
  • "been making more of an effort to pray while at work this week but still not where I should be."
  • "praying almost daily"
  • "Prayer: 10/10 - Pray usually at least once per day intentionally."

That last one in particular is a drag to read. Praying "usually at least once per day" is that guy's idea of a 10/10 prayer life. Brothers, there is so much more. Your prayers can be and should be utterly life-giving. When you have experienced how great God is in prayer, you will see your need for Him so clearly that you will be moved to pray more and more, not out of obligation, but out of joy.

My prayer life was great right after I accepted Jesus for the first time, about nine years ago. But for a long time after, right up until the last 1-2 years, my prayer life was stagnant or dead. I'm sharing here some of the specific things that held back my prayer life, as well as some tips that helped me fix them.

  1. Holding back: There were parts of my life I refused to give over to God, including patterns of sin. Sexuality, money, and comfort/idleness were my biggest problem areas. I wanted to hold on to these things and refused to trust Him with them. I kept trying to be better, when what I really needed to do was offer these areas of my life back to God. Recommendation: Pray for God to reveal if you are holding anything back from him. Pray for him to change your heart so that you want to give these things back to Him.

  2. Selfish Prayer: My prayer life was all about me. Mostly I prayed about things I wanted. I spent no time at all listening for what God wanted. Recommendation: Ask God to reveal to you how you should pray. Yes, the Spirit intercedes for you when you don't know what to pray (Romans 8:26), but He also guides us into all truth (John 16:13), so you should seek and listen for what God wants you to pray. Use the ACTS prayer model and begin every prayer with adoration, confession, and thanksgiving, so you are in the right headspace by the time you pray in supplication.

  3. Egotism: I often wasn't comfortable praying in front of groups of people or even my own wife. When I prayed with a small group, I would spend a bunch of time thinking about what to pray rather than just praying. I realize now this all comes from self-importance and a desire to be approved of. Recommendation: Replace nice guy mental models. Memorize and pray Romans 8:15, Galatians 1:10. Accept that your identity is in Christ, and if you want to live another way to be approved of by others, you are not abiding in Him.

  4. Humble arrogance: I told myself that certain events of my life were not important enough to pray to God about. This sounds humble, but it's not. It's trying to appear humble while living under my own power. God's resources are infinite and inexhaustible. He can plan and act in every aspect of your life, and never tire of doing so. Furthermore, Jesus taught you to pray persistently and in complete faith. Recommendation: In your next reading of a gospel, write down every verse where Jesus prays. Ask God to teach you how to pray like Him.

  5. Excuses and Distractions: I always found a reason I could not pray now, or told myself I would pray about it later. Of course, I never did. Recommendation: Just pray now. Recognize that nothing is more important than God's provision, and that the adversary is always conspiring to keep you from prayer.

I pray this helps somebody to overcome their obstacles in prayer. If you know your prayer life needs help, I recommend picking something from the list that spoke to you, and incorporating it into your OYS.