Could do with some advice

Substantial-Bad-4508 · 2025-07-03T22:06:28+00:00

When someone wants their space, it typically means that you're being too aggressive and needy in the relationship.

And it doesn't necessarily mean for you to move on UNLESS you made her feel extremely suffocated with attention seeking.

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-07-03T22:10:25+00:00

You were being too needy, instead of letting her time to process and giving her time to miss you, you were too eager to hangout again. You need to let women come to you at their own pace. Not by you pushing and pushing for a meet up.

Asking her anything of the following "what's wrong, don't you like me? are you not interested anymore? Did i do something wrong" was the worst thing you could have done. This showed so much neediness and emotional uncertinaty from your part that it probably killed the polarity completely.

Instead of being chilled, and calm in the ambiguity, you behave from a feminine anxious mindset which naturally makes her feel more like the "man" in the situation. And women don't feel attraction towards a guy that acts more feminine than them. And why all this neediness from her behaviour? Because you've learned that uncertainty equals abandonment, probably due how you were raised by your parents. So it triggered probably some childhood traumas causing you to panic.

You need to understand that women are like butterflies, they tend to pull away when you chase them which is what you started to do here. You kissed and after that immediately started to chase her, to push for more commitment, for more clarity, for more certainty,... and that natrually repels women, specially when they are still not sold on you.

Because, remember just because they kiss you or have sex with you, doesn't mean they are sold on you, or that they want a relationship or anything more for now.

You got confused because you had expectations that were not being met, but that's on you. You should have dropped all expectations and just go with the flow and let things unfold naturally without trying to seek an outcome.

You kissed and thought, "ok now it's time to lock her down, time to make this more serious, time to look for commitment." And that's when you began to put pressure and fuck things up.

She however kissed and thought, "let's see if i'll miss him or not. Let me pull back to see how my feelings evolve".

Her attitude is more relaxed, she gives herself time to see if she really feels drawn to you or not by pulling back, and your problem is that you saw this attitude as a sign that she was uninterested or that you did something that turned her off, and panicked.

And this happens because you don't understand how attraction works for women. They don't develop more feelings for you just because you talk more or spend more time. They develop feelings when you are not there and yet can't stop thinking about you trying to decipher where they stand with you, and missing your energy. To feel the contrast of being with you vs being without you.

Now she is "getting busy" because the more you show how anxious and needy you are, the more turned off she gets. Busy is never a good sign, but you provoked that, by being needy after the date.

Intelligent-Pause274 · 2025-07-03T22:46:48+00:00

You don't have to match someone's energy because that too takes energy away from you (imagine having to put on the breaks when the wheels just keeps going). You just have to find the person who wants what you want.

Matter_Still · 2025-07-04T06:15:09+00:00

This is a slam dunk. Show your maturity and your strength by complimenting her good judgment.

"First, thank you for your honesty; second, for your wisdom. There's no substitute for two people getting to know each other. And, of course, a new job deserves a lot of time. I know that as well as anyone."

Some will indict this as being a "nice guy," but what are your options? You feel like it's slipping away--and for God's sake, measure all advice against common sense. Act on it only if it feels right. If you think mine is nonsense, then trash it, and the same goes for anyone else's.

Opposite0_0Banana · 2025-07-04T11:32:45+00:00

I dont know if what i am saying is completely right but that is what works for me, firstly you should move on, a women who gets distant and tells you these words means she wants to end it off.

I think that happened because you were too needy you stated she reassured you, which means you asked her “why did you get distant” and stuff like that, a women who backs off you leave her, you don’t chase her and you have done the opposite, which made her want ro go away more telling you she has business or whatever.

I am not saying that you should hide your interest in someone, i am saying relationship/dating is 50/50 once someone gives lower, you shouldn’t give more, she backed off you gave her 80 she gave 20 which made the dynamic change, which isn’t natural.

what you should have done was leave her do her thing and you focus on you, i like to start a convo two times and she starts once, i make her do this so ik that she is interested in us and that she is putting effort even though it’s just a text message.

if you want anything just ask

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2025-07-07T17:41:15+00:00

The best way to get someone to care for you is to not care if you ever see them again in some way. Relationships are give and take and a lot of times because a game. When someone is a bit too needy, it creates in many people the idea that they dont have to work fo rthe relationship because the needy person will always be there at a quick call or text. So they can do other things and when that doesnt work out, they have the needy person for reassurance. In any type of realtionships (ONS, FWB, etc) it's all about reaching out but also not being needy.

Making it clear that you like hanging out with them but if they want to slow it down, you have no issues ending it or slowing it down and doing your own thing.

Tbh, this tells me she is living the single life a bit. Going on other dates, maybe even hooking up wiht others and she doesnt want to commit as much as you want to in just 3 weeks. That's ok, but you need ot focus on you and doing what's best for you and what's best for you is to not wait for her to change her mind. Im not saying she is doing this, but it may lead to her getting fucked by guys who arent giving her the time of day while you wait for her.

Then you become the guy from that meme where the first picture is the guy in bed texting the girl something like "have a good night beautiful. Cant wait to see you" and the next picture is the girl in bed with another guy texting the first guy "omg thanks so much. I miss you already" while the guy in bed with her says "get off the phone and let's go for round two".

Disciple_Of_Ross · 2025-07-03T23:21:26+00:00

Just hit the gym, at the end of the day, looks matter. That is what women are attracted to. Job nah, clothes nah, squeaky voice, low confidence. Just show your muscles. Be yourself and express yourself, if you wanna fuck her, tell her that, if you wanna cum on her face tell her that. As per Models, this will polarise the women who are attracted to your masculine identity.

Personality - pahh this means nothing. So what if you speak in a mono tone robotic voice. Are you a dancing monkey, NEVER EVER start putting emotion into your voice, its just an act, BE YOURSELF. If you are anxious, low self esteem. So WHAT all that matters is looks. Then end. And don't tell stories about your life, do not PERFORM, be authentic. The minute you find yourself telling a story, slap yourself and repeat "I am not doing Mystery Method".

As people only meet online in this day and age, if you are unfortunate enough to find yourself talking to a woman, just ask for her IG, FB, Reddit, etc. But remember, limiting messages is fake and manipulative, so message her constantly show her how much you love her. And do it on every Social Media Platform. If you are an older guy, ask for her MySpace.

If she wants to talk to you with her voice (yuck), tell her that in person is outdated. This sub also gives bad advice about moving on, so DO NOT MOVE ON. You can win her over, you are being yourself with your authentic talk about your feelings, working on the gym. Send her pics and do loads of stories, you will win her over.

Now Kino escalation - ARE YOU A RAPIST - Never ever touch a woman. Always ask permission. Can I hold your hand, can I touch your shoulder. If she allows you to kiss her, ask her how long. Women love a man that does not use Kino Techniques.

Finally - Cheap Dates, real men do not do this. Real men get a 10 course meal, and hire a chef personally. Looks and Money. FORGET GAME bollacks.

Marriage - Push for this straight the way, do not ask, just state how you feel "I want to get married". Real men do not mess around with women. Do not worry you will find someone as there is someone for everyone. Just be nice and you will find "The One".

Title	Could do with some advice
Author	Embarrassed_Frame126
Upvotes	6
Comments	9
Date	July 3, 2025 9:35 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1lr1l3h/could_do_with_some_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/could-do-with-some-advice.1556258 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556258

Comments